Monday, January 16, 2012

Be a Show Off!

Here’s another great guest blog from our good friend and anger expert Dave Garrison at Genesis Counseling. Enjoy!  –Dan

I can’t wait for the next potential argument with my wife!  

Maybe you should too. I know what you’re thinking, “Look forward to an argument with my Honey?” SAY WHAT?!! What in God’s Green Earth are you talking about?!” 

I know. Why would anyone in their right mind want to have an argument with their partner? (Remember, “When Mama ain’t happy…no one’s happy” and all that.) 
No. I’m not crazy…but I do like to show off sometimes. Let me explain…

You see, guys, it’s time to go back to school…Time to learn some new tools of the “Man Trade”. That’s what the Man Event, The Trail, and the current series Reverse Engineering are all about: Learning how to be a true man of God.

Here’s one example—in Proverbs it says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1).

Sound advice. Speak gently, not harshly and maybe things will go a little better. Makes sense, but just knowing this skill isn’t enough. We’ve got to DEMONSTRATE the skills we’re learning. It’s a lot like standing in the middle of the railroad tracks with a locomotive barreling toward us. It’s important to know the train is coming, but that knowledge doesn’t do us diddly squat unless we actually DO something with it and GET OFF THE TRACKS!

Knowledge—know how—isn’t enough; we’ve got to apply that knowledge. We’ve got to move…to show…to demonstrate the change that’s taking place inside.

A few easy steps I’d like to share are:

1.     Avoid arguments and conflicts when you can (they tend to tear at the fabric of the relationship)
2.      When conflict does come up, and is unavoidable (and we all know it WILL come), be a show off. Show off the change in your heart.  Remember, the next tiff is an OPPORTUNITY to show the change that’s taking place in your heart (A gentle word. A little more understanding). 
3.     Connect with other guys. You will learn more skills (and how to apply them) from being connected to other guys than you ever can by trying to go it alone.

The Bible says, “Faith without works is dead…Show me your works and I’ll see your faith”. (James 1:14-25). It’s not just, “Tell me what you know.” It’s, “Show me what you know.”

So the next time a fight with your wife or girlfriend looks like it’s on the horizon…Be a show off!


  1. Love it. I always thought it was about winning the fight. Never thought that an argument would be a good time to "Show off" the change in your heart! Thanks!!

  2. "Your right honey, what was I thinking". Works wonders even if she's wrong.