Real Men Do Dishes

Last weekend a bunch of the men from Flatirons went up to Crooked Creek to serve the ladies at Women's Retreat. My good buddy (and Christian counselor) Dave Garrison joined them and he cameback down the mountain with more than dishpan hands...he came home with the following insight. Enjoy!

-- Dan Foote

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When was the last time you got a standing ovation from your wife…or from 300 other women?

 

That’s what happened at Barbie Boot Camp (the Flatirons Women’s Retreat) this past weekend. A small army of 40 Flatirons Men committed themselves to cooking, serving, and doing dishes for the women at the women’s retreat. At breakfast on Sunday, all the men were brought out and the women expressed their gratitude through applause, whistles and smiles. 

Embarrassing, humbling….but still pretty cool to be on the receiving end of their appreciation.

                                            (Retreat volunteer and busboy Robb Paolasso)

Oh, to get that level of appreciation from your wife or girlfriend!  What a game changer that can be. And I guess that’s the lesson: men have to serve first.

The men up at the women’s retreat made the food, served the food and cleaned up afterwards….not expect anything from the women. There was no “Hey, let’s make a deal, I’ll cook and do dishes if you’ll _________.”(Fill in your own blank). There was no score keeping: “Hey, I served you, now it’s your turn to serve me”. The mentality of the men was simple: “We’re here to serve you. Nothing expected in return”. 

The Bible is pretty clear about this too. It says “Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church” (Ephesians 5:25).  It doesn’t say “Husbands love your wives as long as she does for you in return”.  In the book of Mark Jesus said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all…” (Mark 9:35). Jesus goes on and speaks of Himself saying, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” (Mark 10:45)

Making a commitment to serve the women in your life, by doing some cooking, cleaning or helping out around the house may not get you a standing O, but maybe the little smile on her face…and a greater sense of appreciation might just be enough. 

(A special shout out to my fellow Pit Crew members:  Jim, David, Austin, and Ewing)

– Dave Garrison

Land of Paradoxes

Flatirons Men's Afghanistan Trip

Day Eleven - Tuesday, May 1, 2012

So here we are, our last day in Afghanistan...for the time being. I plan to return again someday and I know the other guys on the team feel the same. We sat around the breakfast table drinking coffee and talking long before the food ever arrived. Bart Lillie opened up and shared a particularly rough time he and his family endured several years back -- and how God brought them through it. It was, once again, another powerful moment of vulnerability and acceptance -- something that's has bonded this team from the get-go.

Packed and loaded, we made the cacophonous and chaotic trip to the airport. Once inside the terminal, after multiple security and passport checks, Bob said it was the smoothest he's ever had on the team's he's led. Still, the last security check in Kabul (which included an extensive pat-down from a guard in rubber gloves) was the most up-close-and-personal inspection I've had from another man since my 50 year checkup.

Sitting in the terminal I was consumed by something one of the ex pat staffers said on our first day upon arriving in Kabul. She said, "Afghanistan is a land of paradoxes." And she's right. I sat at the gate, waiting to board our flight to Dubai, and ran through a bunch of the paradoxes in my head like you scan through a rolodex.

- Afghanistan appears to be a place so foreign and exotic, yet we learned it can be as familiar as your own hometown or backyard.

- To the outsider, the traffic in Kabul appears to be this crazy, disorganized jumble of a mess, but instead, it really has its own rhythm and routine.

- Afghanistan's a place that appears to be filled with suspicion and closed-mindedness, but we found nothing but openness and acceptance.

It was one paradox after another. But as I type this, 29,000 feet in the air, headed for Dubai (and eventually back to home), the biggest paradox I've found is this: I might look like the same man who came to Afghanistan 10 days ago, but I'm not. I am different. Afghanistan has changed me. I guess that's what happens when you leave a part of who you are in the Land of Paradoxes. And so I will miss it until I return.

Til that day. Thanks for reading.

-- Dan