Be a Show Off!

Here’s another great guest blog from our good friend and anger expert Dave Garrison at Genesis Counseling. Enjoy!  –Dan

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I can’t wait for the next potential argument with my wife!  

Maybe you should too. I know what you’re thinking, “Look forward to an argument with my Honey?” SAY WHAT?!! What in God’s Green Earth are you talking about?!” 

I know. Why would anyone in their right mind want to have an argument with their partner? (Remember, “When Mama ain’t happy…no one’s happy” and all that.) 

No. I’m not crazy…but I do like to show off sometimes. Let me explain…

You see, guys, it’s time to go back to school…Time to learn some new tools of the “Man Trade”. That’s what the Man Event, The Trail, and the current series Reverse Engineering are all about: Learning how to be a true man of God.

Here’s one example—in Proverbs it says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1).

Sound advice. Speak gently, not harshly and maybe things will go a little better. Makes sense, but just knowing this skill isn’t enough. We’ve got to DEMONSTRATE the skills we’re learning. It’s a lot like standing in the middle of the railroad tracks with a locomotive barreling toward us. It’s important to know the train is coming, but that knowledge doesn’t do us diddly squat unless we actually DO something with it and GET OFF THE TRACKS!

Knowledge—know how—isn’t enough; we’ve got to apply that knowledge. We’ve got to move…to show…to demonstrate the change that’s taking place inside.

A few easy steps I’d like to share are:

1.     Avoid arguments and conflicts when you can (they tend to tear at the fabric of the relationship)

2.      When conflict does come up, and is unavoidable (and we all know it WILL come), be a show off. Show off the change in your heart.  Remember, the next tiff is an OPPORTUNITY to show the change that’s taking place in your heart (A gentle word. A little more understanding). 

3.     Connect with other guys. You will learn more skills (and how to apply them) from being connected to other guys than you ever can by trying to go it alone.

The Bible says, “Faith without works is dead…Show me your works and I’ll see your faith”. (James 1:14-25). It’s not just, “Tell me what you know.” It’s, “Show me what you know.”

So the next time a fight with your wife or girlfriend looks like it’s on the horizon…Be a show off!

The Man Event: Pizza, Wings and the Body of Christ

I’m still reeling from the Man Event—the men’s only gathering held up at Flatirons after the Broncos playoff victory against the Steelers Sunday night (1/8/12). There were hot wings (courtesy of our good friends at Quaker Steak & Lube), pizza and…more importantly 4,000 men!

4,000 men—all crammed into the church auditorium for a standing room only event to hear Jim and Scott speak frankly about what God is looking for from the men at Flatirons. If you were there, you know what I mean when I say it was humbling…and electrifying.

Boys…men…adolescents…”man-boys”.

Blacks…whites…Hispanics…Asians.

Those on walkers…those in wheelchairs…those still in their running shoes.

Married…divorced…the about-to-be-married…the lost and the lonely…those who long for—who dream and pray for—someone special.

The hairy…the bald…the self-assured…the self-conscious.

The hurting…the broken…those about to be broken.

Simply put…I saw the Body of Christ.

A body. Made up of a multitude of cells…all coming together…separate and individual…coming together to form one. What the Apostle Paul calls the Body of Christ.

“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.”                                                       1 Corinthians 12:12

I firmly believe that Sunday night was a watershed moment in the history of Flatirons Community Church. I believe that God will honor what happened Sunday night at the Man Event—the same way He did many years ago to those who sought after Him, when He said,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD…”                                                                                    Jeremiah 29:11-14

At the Man Event, we gathered to call on God's name, to pray, and to listen to Him. We stepped out…seeking Him with all our hearts—trusting He will be found.

I love knowing that God has a plan…a plan for you…a plan for me…a plan for our families…and a plan for all of Flatirons: the Body of Christ.

Dan  

Another New Year

Okay. I know I’m a guy and I’m not supposed to admit this kind of stuff to my buddies, but here goes…I’m a wimp. I tend to lean towards sentimentality and expend way too much time and energy reflecting on the past.

I know. I’m a wuss.

But seriously, aren’t you supposed to do that at the start of the New Year? I sure hope so, because that’s exactly what I do each and every January 1st. Just ask my family.

The full-on attack of melancholy usually doesn’t hit until my wife, Amy, and I take down the Christmas tree. It always happens the same way, though. I go all internal and quietly reflect on the passage of time as we box up the skads of ornaments and decorations that we’ve collected over our thirty Christmases together. Each box filled with tacky little department store glass bulbs and countless handmade ornaments that have taken on a personal aura of nostalgic reverence.

My heart gets especially tugged by the ornaments with dates on them like, “1981 – First Christmas Together”, “1985 – Baby’s First Christmas”, “1990 – Katie’s 1st Christmas”, etc. You know what I mean? They’re all just little reminders, place holders of another Christmas (and another year) gone by.

Another year gone by.

That year gone by only points to one other thing: Another New Year ahead…and the unknown. A page yet to be written in that nebulous and (sometimes) frightening place we call the future.

And this is where I always land every year—standing amongst all the tinsel and garland and pine needles: “What does the future hold?”

God only knows.

2011 saw huge changes at Flatirons—starting with the move across the street and into the new building. To sum it all up, the best thing I heard about the move came from someone on the Flatirons Facebook page over opening weekend. A simple posting that read: “Same church. Different address.” Perfect.

And no one saw this coming as 2011 began…

Saying goodbye to our dear friend Ron Atchley—who died on Friday, September 16th. Ron was a Flatirons personified. He was faulted, and broken, and loved Jesus and other people more than he loved himself…and it showed. Calling Ron Atchley a “Super Volunteer” is like calling Long’s Peak a hill.

The other highs and lows from last year are too numerous to mention, but suffice to say, experienced equally by all. Marriages. Divorces. Births. Deaths. Hirings. Firings. Each one, deeply personal, and yet, common fair for anyone in any given workplace.

So here we are. January 2012. I’m sure the New Year will see its’ share of births celebrated and friends and family mourned…of fortunes gained and bankruptcies filed…of couples united and marriages divided in court. Which is why (especially at this time of year) I like to reflect on this passage from Jeremiah 29. God makes a wonderful promise here when He says…

“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

That was a promise made over 2,500 New Years ago…and it’s a promise we can cling to today…no matter what happens in 2012…good or bad…God has a plan to make things better.

I hope and pray your 2012 is a wonderful year…filled with prosperity and hope and faith in the only One who holds our future.

Happy New Year!

Dan