Monday, April 27, 2015

A Few More AT Posts...

Day 22: A Whisper   

Well, if you were able to succeed in what your text told us yesterday, you crossed over into the great state of Tennessee sometime today! It's one of my favorite states--for obvious reasons. It's one of the prettiest states in our country (the eastern part, at least)…it's home to Milligan College where I met Mom (all the way back in 1979)…and it's where most of the Great Smoky Mountains live. 

I'm sitting here wondering how today went for you--wondering if you made it to Clingmans Dome or not? Katie, I don't know if you remember this or not, but Clingmans Dome is just a couple of miles away from Gatlinburg, TN where we met the Brunsmans and the Hartmans 20 years ago for vacation, And it's where Ben and I first talked about hiking the Appalachian Trail someday. Do you remember that summer? We all hiked up to the Chimney Tops in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park…where I carried you on my shoulders most of the way! Does any of that ring a bell? 

Anyway, I was also wondering how the hike went today. The Smoky Mountains are probably going to be your toughest stretch on the trail so far…and typing the word "Smoky" so much makes me wonder if the heavy fogs and mists that give those mountains their name have obscured your views. I sure hope not.    

Smoke…Fire...Mountains.

I can't help but think about this story in the Bible…the Old Testament…in 1 Kings. It's the story about Elijah the Prophet. He was one of those bold/shy/brave/cowardly/faithful/doubting men of God--my favorite type! His story is just one of the many reasons why the Bible is so trustworthy. Elijah's story is so real! Filled with great faith…and even greater inner conflict. My favorite part of his life revolves around the time--right after he performed one of the greatest feats of faith and trust--when he turned tail and ran like a coward (Please read 1 Kings 18 to get the backstory here). Elijah ran from one mountain…a mountain of victory (Mt. Carmel) to another mountain…a mountain which, at first, may have represented defeat to him (Mt. Horeb). After running for his life from Queen Jezebel, a messenger from God tells Elijah to go to Mt. Horeb--and he does. Here's what happens once he gets there:

"There he (Elijah) came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he (God) said to him, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?' He said, 'I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.' And he (God) said, 'Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?'"  (1 Kings 19:1-13)

As you hike through those mountains, I'd love for you two to think about this story--of Elijah on Mt. Horeb. I love the story of Elijah for many reasons, but especially for this part, where Elijah hides in the cave. He's cowering in the dark, hiding. Then, God tells him to step out..out of the cave…in the open…a very vulnerable position. Then, Elijah experiences a windstorm and it tears apart the mountain…but God wasn't in the wind. Then, an earthquake. Same thing. No God in the earthquake. After that…a fire. Still. No God. And then…a whisper…a low whisper…and there…in the quiet of that whisper…was God. God in a whisper. 

There's all kinds of applications you two can dig out of this story…and you'll have plenty of time…and plenty of mountains to mull this over on. But here's my thought for you tonight from this story: Whether it's a good day of hiking for you…a victorious day…a day on "Mt. Carmel" or whether it's a tough day…a day of defeat…a day on Mt. Horeb try and remember what Elijah discovered on BOTH mountains. He found that God was there! God was in the fire on Mt. Carmel in a powerful, mighty way…but He was also on Mt. Horeb…in a low, gentle whisper. In whatever you experience on your AT Adventure…the good days and bad…listen for the whisper.       

Love,
Dad

Day 23: Selfish Ambition    

"We tried to avoid stopping in Gatlinburg, but the need for toilet paper and a hot meal overtook us. So we just crammed 5 hikers and a tourist couple in a Toyota Corolla from Clingmans Dome down to Gatlinburg."

Nick, I shared your text above with Steph Brooks after she stopped me in the hallway to ask how you two were doing on the trail. She's been keeping up with your journey by reading my blog posts, but when I let her read your text she said, "Crammed into a Toyota with all those people! What an amazing adventure they're having!" I couldn't agree more. She also asked if you were taking lots of pictures and writing this stuff down. You are, aren't you? 

It's funny. It's been a long day. Tomorrow night kicks off men's retreat and today has been a non-stop, 100 mph dash. When I finally got home tonight, I sank into my easy chair and dozed off. A half hour later Mom stirred me. I jumped out of my chair saying, "I've got to write Katie and Nick!" Mom asked, "Can't you just skip tonight?" and I told her, "No. I made a commitment!

Now, I want you to know that I don't want these notes to you to become just a commitment. Something I have to fulfill or check off a list…a chore that I have trudge through. And I don't want this to become rote…and I don't want to be a legalist about it and act like I'll be committing some major sin if I skip a day or two here and there. But the truth is…this thing that I'm doing each day…sitting down at my computer and writing something to you guys…it's honestly more for me than for you. Here's what I mean: It would be so easy for me to get lost in my day-to-day busyness…thinking of you regularly, but eventually allowing your lives (out there on the Appalachian Trail) to become eclipsed by my life. I'm sorry, but that's just true. I need contact to stay connected. It's the embarrassing truth of my own selfishness. But sitting down to write you each day keeps me involved…keeps me connected…keeps me thinking of you and your amazing journey. Writing to you each day takes me out of my own stuff. It's good for me. Which is why my Bible verse for you today is from Philippians 2:3-4:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."   
You both know that I love you beyond measure, but the truth is, my own selfish ambition or conceit…if left unchecked…will put a stranglehold on my need and desire to stay connected with you two. It's so easy for me to put my interests ahead of everyone else's…including yours. Not that it effects my love for you in any way, but it would effect my attention and interest towards you. So, in the same way that you two aren't coming off the AT unless there's serious injury or something of the sort…I'm not figuratively coming off your trail either…I'm committed to writing to you and staying connected, barring serious injury or something of the sort too! And just like your hike to Maine will be difficult at times…I know it's going to be difficult for me to keep this up…especially this men's retreat weekend, but I'm committed. Now, my emails this weekend may be brief…stuff like, "Hope you're fine. 'Jesus wept.' John 11:35. Love, Dad"…but I'm still writing you…I'm still committed to you. Not out of obligation, but love. Hope to hear from you again soon.  

Love,
Dad

Day 24: Plans    

As promised from yesterday, this will be brief. Technically I missed a day because I'm just now sitting down to write this and it's 12:25AM, but I ask for grace. 

I hope your day went well. I'm guessing that you hopped back on the AT after your excursion into Gatlinburg, but I don't know. I'm betting that you asked around or read something online that led you to an amazing hot meal--hamburgers again? I'm sure we will talk in the next couple of days...or at least that's what I've grown accustomed to. 

Today was crazy...and busy...and wonderful! The Flatirons men's retreat kicked off tonight at 8PM. It always sneaks up on me and catches me in the throat to see all these men stream into Crooked Creek Ranch. You can see it on their faces. Some are excited...some are scared...some angry...and some hurting. But no matter what their faces say, I know that God is going to do some great things in them, and for them, up here in the next 39-40 hours. I know this because it happens every year...and at every men's retreat I've ever attended or been a part of. And no matter how much we prepare or how much we plan...God always does incredible things we never saw coming. I wish I could say I never doubt His ability to do that, but my faith still wavers., but all I can do is trust that He will show up again...because that is His plan.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 

We have our plans...and God has His. As Jeremiah writes here, God's plans for us are always good. His plan for us is to benefit us...not destroy...and to bring hope. As these men walk through this weekend at men's retreat my hope and prayer is the same for them as it is for you…as you walk through Tennessee: that God's plan for becomes clearer and that hope in the future is renewed or restored. He has a plan for you today...through this summer...and long after this journey of yours is a distant memory and...it...is...good.

Love,
Dad

Day 25: Lay It Down    

You two have been on my mind A LOT this weekend up here at men's retreat. Here's why. I've been walking back-and-forth...up-and-down...all over Crooked Creek Ranch. The weather has been ADD and manic depressive too; sunny and warm one minute. Drizzling rain the next, then snow! I've been lugging a canvas backpack the entire time up here and I've hardly had a chance to sit down. My legs, ankles and hips are killing me! I know. I'm a whiner, but it's kept you guys on my mind amidst everything else I have going on this weekend. 

I'll tell you in detail when we talk on the phone again, but most of the weekend I had to carry a burden. All I can really say about it is that I couldn't wait to get rid of it! For the few short hours I had it, it quickly became a nuisance...but a very real reminder of what you guys are dealing with each day. I'm sure that...after 25 days into your hike...your "burden" is more than just a nuisance. Still, your burden represents life...everything you need to survive is in it. 

A Burden for Life.

Sometime in August or September, you will both "cast off your burdens" and say goodbye to living on the trail. But a lot of what I thought about over the last day and a half is how I live each day with some burdens...how I've allowed bad habits and past sins to weigh me down...like that burden I carried all weekend. Here's what Jesus promises:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I try to give my burdens over to Jesus, but honestly...I usually end up picking them back up and weighing myself down again. The process you two go through each day of picking up your "burden", then laying it down each night...only to pick it back up again is a reminder of what I do in life...and how I need to stop and finally turn these burdens over to Jesus--like the last day of a 2,200 mile long hike--laying it down for good. It will feel so good to finally do that.

I just need to lay it all down.

Love,
Dad

Day 26: Whole Heart    

Hope you are both well. The last we heard from you was the text we received from you on Thursday…almost 4 days ago. No problem. I'm sure you are happy and healthy and ticking away the miles on the trail. Mom and I are anxiously waiting to hear the newest stories from your grand adventure. Life here is good. I know I wrote you about the men's retreat last night. We wrapped it up this morning about 11:30AM. All I can say is that the entire weekend was amazing! Watching this group of men grasp the idea that "sovereign God has entrusted me with a portion of His kingdom" (and what that means) was amazing…and humbling. Jesus said in Luke 10:27:   

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”
Heart. Soul. Strength. Mind…King. Lover. Warrior. Magi.
I don't want to write too much about this weekend, Nick, because I really hope you're back in Colorado by the 2nd round of the ROYAL men's retreat in September to attend. Still, this model that Jesus gives us of loving God with a whole heart…with all our heart, soul, mind and strength is a powerful place to stand. The archetypes of king (heart), lover (soul), warrior (strength) and magi (mind) were driven home by Jim this weekend in a very effective way. All of us men up there at the retreat were pushed, and encouraged, to look at our need (and God-given call) to lead out and love with a whole heart. Even amidst all the work and running around I was doing, I mulled this concept over and over in my heart and mind: Heart. Soul. Strength. Mind…King. Lover. Warrior. Magi. 
Then, I came home.
I was trying to stay connected with my "whole heart", but I will admit…it was mostly soul/lover this afternoon…and tonight. Katie, I know you've been dealing with a little homesickness--and I don't want to make it worse--but I came down the mountain this afternoon and drove straight to Ben and Ali's because Mom was going to watch the kids tonight. When I walked in the door, Micah was in his little swing, starting to fuss. As I picked him up, Ben yelled from upstairs, "Call Emery!" I did, then all I could hear was the rumbling of her little footsteps, and then her little butt thump, thump, thumping down the stairs in a mad dash to see me. It made my week! After Mom got there, Ben and Ali headed off to a wedding. We needed to eat, so I went and grabbed something. In the ever-present race to be "Worst Grandparents of the Year", I brought back McDonald's and Chinese. Em ate the strawberry Go-gurt from her Happy Meal, but that was it. Then, she came over and looked at my broccoli and beef (with the side of chicken lo mein) and said, "More!" She proceeded to eat most of the chicken in my chicken lo mein…and half the beef in my beef and broccoli…all while standing on my leg as I was seated on the floor. Now, you both know that Emery has me wrapped around her little finger, but the grip grew even tighter tonight when I discovered a kindred spirit in our love for Chinese food! But later, when Em was flipping through the photos and videos on Mom's iPhone, she played a video of Katie from last year's Thanksgiving--where you were wearing a turkey hat, Katie. I asked Emery who that was in the video and she said (without hesitation) "Kay-Kay!". I just wanted to let you know, Katie, that you are still loved and remembered by our little "Frozen" gown-wearing, Chinese food-loving, little princess.        
As I drove home tonight, I was meditating on what it means to love God (and the kingdom He's entrusted me) with a whole heart. I guess I know that it is very fluid--based on what part of my whole heart is in need of at the time. There are times when I need to be strong, and be a warrior. But I can never let that warrior bully or browbeat the heart/king, soul/lover, mind/magi in me. The same holds true for each part of my whole heart. Tonight, I was all soul and lover. I was so happy to be back home and be with Mom and Emery and Micah. I felt like my heart was going to explode…especially when Mom asked Emery, "Do you love your Grampa?" and she leaned back into my chest and patted my leg (See Below). 

Tonight, my heart was whole…and my heart was full…but it still longs to hear your voices. Please call when you get a chance.
Love,
Dad


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The Journey Continues...

My kids are still trekking north along the Appalachian Trail. I've committed to writing them something each day. Here are my latest notes.

—Dan        
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Day 18: Birds of the Air. Flowers of the Field   

So tonight at church, for the bulk of his message, Jim recited the entire Sermon on the Mount from memory. I knew he was going to do this. He's been practicing for weeks. He even practiced it when we drove up to the property a couple of weeks ago. He made it all the way from Matthew 5:1 to chapter 6. But tonight, he did the whole thing--Matthew 5:1-7:29. He didn't miss a thing. More importantly though, he didn't just stand up there on the stage and recite it like a lot of us would by staring at the ceiling…as if trying to wish the words to drop into our heads from the sky. And he didn't "act it out" either…all emotive and overblown with dramatic pauses. No, he gave it like Jim Burgen gives every message at Flatirons with real honesty and grit and humor. I don't know how many times I've read the Sermon on the Mount, but tonight it was different. Jesus' words felt more real and alive than I'd ever heard them before. As Jim was rolling along through Matthew 6, he came across all those verses about how…if God cares and feeds the birds…why do we doubt that He'll take care of us too?

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?"   Matthew 6:25-30
The birds of the air. The flowers of the field

The images of these were as real tonight and as tangible as ever before…in the here-and-now. In just the same way as Jim was making Jesus' words as real and as tangible as ever before…in the here-and-now. I easily thought of you two hiking through the wilds of North Carolina…taking in all that those woods have to offer: birds of the air and flowers of the field. I also thought of Emery and I walking hand-in-hand to the park this afternoon in the brisk wind…with her picking dandelions along the way…and the robin redbreast hovering over the playground…fighting the stiff breeze: birds of the air and flowers of the field. 

The title of Jim's message this weekend is "What is Real?" He began by talking about the real things in life that we lean on and are important to us (i.e., family, money, sex, others' opinions, etc.). Then, he launched into his Sermon on the Mount recitation. Mom was home sick, so as I sat in the auditorium by myself tonight I thought the thing that I want to be "real"…more than anything…are those words of Jesus, and the promise that God will care for you two…for Emery and Micah…for Ben and Ali…more than He cares for… 

...the birds of the air and the flowers of the field.   

Love,
Dad


Day 19: The Blessing of Rain

I don't always love it, but over the last couple of weeks, I will admit…I love technology! I've been amazed at the cell service you've had along the trail, and how often you've been able to text us. So, it wasn't a huge surprise to get home from going out to eat (We thought of you both as we sipped our margaritas at Hacienda Jalisco!) and get your call. But FaceTime! That was a welcome surprise! Choppy and brief as it was, it was good to see your smiles and hear your voices. After we hung up, I looked at the AT mileage chart I have bookmarked on the computer. Fontana Dam is 162.6 miles into the Appalachian Trail. That's great! Oh, and thanks for sending pictures of the room at the hostel you're staying at tonight! (Below) Warm bed…warm shower…and a toilet! Yippee! 





While Mom and I sat at the restaurant eating chips and salsa, waiting for our food, I did a quick weather scan of the Fontana Dam area (not knowing you had actually made it there at that point). I saw that it's been cloudy with a chance of rain most of the week throughout that portion of North Carolina. You guys merely confirmed what we already thought…you've basically seen nothing but rain and mud for days now. I did see that you're supposed to get a bit of a break in the rain early this week. So, dry out tonight. Enjoy the warm, man-made rain from the shower. No telling where your next break further up the trail might be. 

Jim's message this weekend--where he recited the Sermon on the Mount--has my head in that part of the Bible, I guess. I've mainly been consumed by thoughts of rain; worrying about you two being waterlogged (at the least) or swept away by floods (at the worst). I've kept those dark thoughts from Mom…until she reads this. I've also been thinking about men's retreat coming up this weekend…and worrying about the spring rains ruining all that we have planned outside. I hate this, but I've been looking at rain like it's a real negative. The truth is, for most of the world (and especially in the Bible) rain is a blessing! It's rare…it's a treasured commodity…and it's welcomed by most of the planet. In Matthew 5:44-46 Jesus says:  

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"
Again, Jesus spoke these words in a place and time where water was rare, drought was common, and rain was welcomed (and seen as a blessing from God). But Jesus uses rain as a teaching tool here. He's talking about how we're supposed to love everyone--specifically our enemies. Due to the fact that we all need water to survive, Jesus points out that God--although He could--causes rain, life-giving, much-needed rain to fall on the good/righteous and the bad/unrighteous or…in other words…God's friends AND His enemies! Jesus hammers home the point that, if God is willing to basically save the lives of His enemies…how hard can it be for us to "turn the other cheek" to ours…or simply be kind to those who don't like us? I know. It's much easier to write those words, than to actually live them out. You have both been witness to my many failures.
The blessing of rain...
I seriously hope that you two will get a much needed break from all the rain, but if not, try to see it for the blessing that it is. Rain hydrates all that beautiful landscape you're walking through and fills up the reservoirs there too. Let the rain also be a reminder of Jesus' words…and within those words…the promise that (as His children) God is always raining down HIs love on you…a shower of blessing.
Love,
Dad 

Day 20: Hope and Renewal 

So, I hope you were able to retrieve the packages we mailed you at the post office this morning--before leaving Fontana Dam. Nick you should have your other hiking shoes…and you should both have enough Pop Tarts, rice and ramen noodles to last you until Green Corner Rd. (the next place I see on my AT mileage chart where you can get re-stocked--70 + miles up the trail from you). Let us know when you want your next box shipped, where to ship it, and what you want in it. 

I spoke with Uncle Dave tonight on the way home from the office. He recently posted a nice, little Facebook note to his friends informing them of your AT hike. We got to talking again about trying to connect with you two in Harpers Ferry, WV--the halfway point of your journey. Uncle Dave said he wants to visit the Civil War battle venues there, then try to connect with you and take you out to eat or something. When he first mentioned this a couple of months ago, I told him that I'd love to fly out there and join him. I think it would be great to hang out  with Uncle Dave at some of the Civil War historic sites, let him take ALL of us out to eat (Ha ha!), and then join you two for a small section of the trail. I sat down tonight to try and figure out your ETA in West Virginia. Averaging out your distance and time on your trip so far, I have you landing in Harpers Ferry sometime in late June-early July…but you know my math skills… :) Either way, I got excited about it and looked over my summer calendar to see if it would even work…and if those dates are right…it could be a magic window for me! Those dates are sandwiched between a couple of the weddings I'm doing this summer, but I think I can make it work! Remind me to talk about this when you get cell service and we talk again.       

I hope I can make that happen this summer.

Hope. It's such an integral part of our relationship with Jesus…and at times…one of the most difficult parts for me. Here's what I mean: I have all kinds of hope in Jesus. Here's where my hope (and faith) lie: My hope is in the words Jesus said...and the promises He made. I have hope that when this life is over…I'm going to stay with Him in heaven (whatever that looks like or whatever that experience will be like). I have hope that heaven will be beyond anything I could ever dream or imagine. And I have hope that when I die I'm going to get to see and hang out with friends and family who are already there--living out this eternity experience with Jesus. I also have hope that my other family members that I leave behind here on earth will eventually join me there someday too. 

Still, I have all this hope and most days…it's easy to claim. Other days…not so much. I have days where my hope feels faint and the mundane parts of this life chip away at it. My hope gets battered and beaten and (at times) feels like there's almost nothing left to it but a nub…like the end of an old stubby pencil. But even so…my hope is never destroyed…never gone. It's constantly being renewed. I wish I could manufacture this renewal, but again…that's not the way Jesus works. The Apostle Paul wrote about our hope in Romans 8:24-25 and said:

"For in this hope (the hope of life eternal) we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

There it is. Hope isn't something tangible…something I can touch or something I can see. It's something wholly different…yet just as real! 

I know that you two have professed this hope. One of the greatest joys and blessings of my life was getting to hear each of your confessions of faith, and then baptizing you. I'm choking up just remembering each of those separate occasions and writing this down. Yet, I know that (like me) this hope thing can be a struggle for you too. I just want you to remember that on this journey…you'll never be able to see it, but that doesn't mean it's gone. Like Paul writes…have patience. Wait for it. Wait and see how God is going to open your hearts and minds to this hope in ways you've never experienced before. Then, wait and see how it grows and is renewed each day on this hike.

That's my hope for you.  

Love,
Dad

Day 21: Love Language  

I sat down at my desk at work to try and write my note to you. It was after 6PM and Mom was on her way to meet me. We planned to go grab a bite to eat, then sneak into the back of the auditorium at REV and listen to Ben give the message tonight. When Mom made it to the church offices, I was still sitting at my computer…struggling. I was still trying to figure out what to write to you both…what I could say that might help or encourage you in some way. I was drawing a blank. I don't know why. Maybe it was because it's been a mad, all-out dash to get things done before the men's retreat this weekend and I'm burned out…maybe it was all the mental Post-It note reminders I have floating around in my head…and maybe it was because I had no clue where you were, how you were doing or what you've experienced over the last few days. So I did what I normally do in situations like this…I procrastinated some more and went out to eat with Mom. We went all out! It was Goodtimes! Chicken tenders for Mom and a mushroom cheeseburger for me (I knew that would probably make you jealous!). To cap things off, Mom made me drive through Wendy's to get her a chocolate Frosty. But while we were in Goodtimes both our phones chimed, "Ding. Ding." Mom and I both said at the same time, "Text from Katie!" It was great to read the following:

"Hello! Service is kind of spotty, but I'm hoping a text will go through. We got the packages! Thank you so much. We are now in the Smokey Mountains! We are 182.7 miles in. Tomorrow we will be in Tennessee for a bit! We are finally feeling stronger and feeling like we can go longer. Today we did 17 miles. Today was absolutely beautiful. The weather was perfect. At one point we were literally walking through fields of flowers. We didn't want to stop walking. We love you guys so much and we miss you!"       

182.7 miles! You're SO close to reaching the 10% mark of 220 miles! I hope that you guys are as proud of yourselves as we are of you! Whatever I was even remotely thinking of writing to you earlier is gone! If I have any real words of encouragement for you it's this, "Great job! One step at a time you are getting closer and closer to fulfilling your dream." And the Bible verse that's in my head right now is from Hebrews 10:24:

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…" 

The only way I am able to encourage…or spur you both on right now is through words of encouragement or affirmation--by writing or talking on the phone. I'm sure you both remember that we give out a book at church for our ONE: Premarital Workshop titled "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. You each got a copy when you went through the workshop a couple of years ago. It's a good book, and if you remember, the 5 Love Languages are: (1) gifts (2) quality time (3) words of affirmation (4) acts of service and (5) physical touch. It's a great model for married folks. Mom and I…are on opposite ends of the spectrum. She's all: physical touch…and I'm: words of affirmation. I don't remember what each of you are either, but here's the thing; this trip…the next 5 months…from Georgia to Maine…you're going to experience them all! I mean, quality time! You're going to get quality, quantity and everything in-between! Acts of service? That's about all you're going to be doing for each other to get you through the journey! And I know there will be LOTS of words of affirmation because along with acts of service, how else are you going to be able to finish this? Physical touch? Everything from pushing each other uphill, lifting the other off the ground from a rest, and the tight quarters of your tent…physical touch is obviously a major part of this trip! You are going to be walking (hiking), talking, living examples of the 5 Love Languages! I know you will always have your primary love language, but this trip is destined to draw you two closer to each other and deepen all the languages in your life.

And no, I didn't forget one. Gifts. This is the one that I admire the most about you two. The gift you've given each other in this hike. Whether gifts are your primary love language or not, the gift that you've given each other of time and place along the Appalachian Trail is probably the greatest gift you will give each other in your lifetimes…aside from children (one day) but, maybe that's just Grampa talking! 

This hike is a beautiful gift and one you will treasure for your entire lives. Thanks for speaking love so well. 

Love,
Dad

Saturday, April 18, 2015

More Posts To My AT Hikers...

Here are my latest posts to my daughter Katie and son-in-law Nick as they make their way along the Appalachian Trail. So far they are happy, healthy and loving their journey. Below is the picture we received yesterday of them enjoying burgers and beers at the Nantahala Outdoor Center in North Carolina.   

--Dan 


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Day 14: Mean Eyes

I don't know about you two, but today sucked for me. It was one of those days that just started out bad and ended up tainting the entire day. I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say I had my "mean eyes on" a lot of the morning. Katie, you're the one who coined that phrase: mean eyes on. I still remember sitting at the dinner table back in Plano, TX over 20 years ago when (for the life of me, I can't remember what was going on) you said, "You're mad at me." I told you I wasn't mad, but you quickly replied, "Yes you are. You have your mean eyes on!" That phrase has stuck. This morning my anger flared due to something that happened at an impromptu Community Team meeting. Later, Karen Berge said to me, "Wow! That's as angry as I've seen you with our group. You really had your mean eyes on!"

Nick, I know you've experienced my mean eyes too, but no doubt…Katie Bug has experienced them the most. There was a period in our life when I felt like all Katie saw was my mean eyes. I've never been able to hide what I'm feeling. During those dark years when you were both in high school…it felt like a curse. I've often said that I always knew Katie loved me during those years…almost as much as I knew she didn't like me. I know a lot of that sentiment revolved around my attitude towards the tall, dark-haired kid that started coming around when you were in middle school. It was obvious this kid was smitten with you, Katie. I was cautious and overly protective and didn't trust a thing about this teenage boy. The main reason why: I USED TO BE A TEENAGE BOY! I knew what teenaged boys liked about teenaged girls, so I questioned this boy's every word and motive…cynically convinced that he was always "Eddie Haskell-ing" me. Katie, I know that hurt you…and hurt our relationship for quite some time, but then, we moved…and the mountains of the Front Range were a Godsend.

Friday Hikes. 

After we moved to Colorado (5 years ago) Friday became our hiking day, right Katie? You had Friday's off. I had Friday's off…and the Front Range was always calling us. It was a healing time for both of us, wasn't it? We'd take the better part of the morning and traipse around the mountains…and we'd talk…and talk…and talk. Before long, a lot of those talks went deep--discussing family and faith and love…and the tall, dark-haired young man back in Texas. I think one of the greatest healing aspects of those hikes was the fact that I was always leading out in front, and when you said something that shocked, scared or angered me…you couldn't see my mean eyes. Not seeing my mean eyes allowed you to open up and be vulnerable with me. It also didn't hurt that I was usually huffing and puffing and out of breath most of the time, either. 

I will always cherish our first couple years up here and our Friday morning hikes.  

But it wasn't long before I got replaced on those Friday mornings…after that tall, dark-haired Texan named Nick moved up here too. Then, Nick was the one who was accompanying you on your hikes. By then, most of my worries and concerns were gone--left in a heap on the mountainsides in-and-around Boulder. Again, it didn't hurt that Nick was living in our basement and you were 10 miles away in an apartment in Longmont! Even still, I grew to love Nick…and to see him for who he truly is…and it all happened through your eyes--your big, beautiful blue eyes. In the end, I had to relinquish the idea that I had to constantly keep my eye on you and on Nick. Job 34:21 reads: 

"For his (God's) eyes are on the ways of a man, and he sees all his steps."

Even though I knew this was true…I had a hard time living it out in my relationship with you two. That was until Nick moved up here…and when you two were married a year or so later. Now, sitting here at my computer in Colorado…wondering how you're doing and where you are in North Carolina…I have to press this truth into my heart once again; God's eyes are on your ways…and He's watching your every step. And the great thing about God…He never Has mean eyes on.

Love,
Dad


Day 15: Wonderful Examples

Sorry Nick. Today's note is directed mostly to Katie. I'm sure there are days ahead where I'll be writing mostly to you…but today is probably not that day. Katie, your text came through this afternoon while I was meeting with Bart Lillie about men's retreat. He understood that I wasn't going to be able to focus on anything until I read it, so I read it out loud to him:

"We are 127 miles in. I'm not going to lie, today has been awful. It's been a nonstop downpour. Everything is soaked and cold. The trail is just slippery mud. Slippery mud that I fell down in :/ we only went 6 miles today because you have to go so slow in the mud. So we are done for the day, praying tomorrow will be a little better. We love you guys so much. I have been super homesick today. I made the mistake of watching videos of Emery on my phone this morning. Later on I couldn't stop crying thinking about her. I miss you all so much."

Okay. Now I'M not going to lie. That was hard to read. I know you're soaking, muddy wet, and hurting, and homesick…and my heart aches for you, but I'm not the least bit conflicted about this excursion of yours. I'm sure there are dads out there who would read a text like that from their daughter and either say, "Stop and come home" or who would actually drive out to North Carolina and go get them. You know that's not me, Katie. That's why I'm your "Insurance Call" if you reach the breaking point and you want to quit. You know I won't let you off the hook…that I'll hold your feet to the fire. Just for clarification, you and I both know that your text today was a far cry from "I give up", but I feel the need to prepare you (and probably more importantly me) for the tougher times that lie ahead. 

I'm not going to re-hash what we talked about over and over before you left. You already know my thoughts on how I want/need you to do this thing…and finish it. Remember how I told you at the dinner table a couple of weeks before you left that you two needed to finish this hike for people like me--who have always wanted to thru-hike the AT, but will never get the chance? Well, a line from your text today really made something else clear to me. It was this line:

"I made the mistake of watching videos of Emery on my phone this morning. Later on I couldn't stop crying thinking about her."

I know you miss our little munchkin. She's very much worth missing, but you know what? You need to stay tough and finish this hike for Em too! Because WHEN (not if) you finish the Appalachian Trail…all 2,168 rugged/muddy/steep/flat/beautiful/boring miles of it…you're going to be an amazing example of what a woman can do! You will be (and will forever be) Aunt Katie Who Thru-Hiked the Appalachian Trail…Aunt Katie Who Roughed It in the Woods for 5 Months…Aunt Katie Who Mastered Peeing with a 25 lb. Pack (Sorry. I lifted that one from your Facebook update today). You're already a wonderful, loving aunt to Emery, but when you're done with this hike…your "cool factor" will be through the roof! I love the thoughts of what kind of an effect this will have on Em; giving her the gift of endless possibilities…being an example that she can do anything she wants, if she only puts her mind to it. There's no telling what Emery will do with your achievement. The Apostle Paul wrote this to early followers of Jesus:

"Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us." (Philippians 3:17) 
Even though Paul was encouraging new believers to look to him as an example of what it looks like to follow Jesus, I think you can see how it works here too. One of life's realities is this: younger people look up to those who exhibit traits they want to see in themselves. Katie, Emery adores you already…and she will continue to love and adore you…even if you were to end this journey tonight. But as you sit huddled up in your soggy tent in a cold, muddy mess somewhere in North Carolina…think about the stories you will be able to tell Em when you finish…and think about how she's going to hear these stories for years to come…then think about what she might end up doing with her life…because Aunt Katie Who Toughed Out All 2,168 Miles of the AT gave her a wonderful example of what a woman can do if she puts her mind to it!

Love,
Dad

p.s. Oh, and Uncle Nick…I guess all of the above holds true for you and our little Micah, too!


Day 16: Good Medicine 

It's been a very long day. I'm sure that sounds trivial to you two…knowing that I spent most of the day warm and inside…sitting in meetings or sitting at my desk all day. Still. It's been a very long day. I started this morning by reading a devotion from Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest". He was a teacher and writer from back in the early 1900s. He taught in England--mostly to young missionaries who were getting ready for the mission field. Anyway, Chambers wrote a lot about emotional and spiritual mountaintops. He constantly cautioned his students about trying to live on the mountaintop. He wrote a lot about our need to trudge back into the valley, if we were to be of any use. 

I can't help it…I love the mountaintop…and the mountaintop experience. I wish I could live on a perpetual mountaintop…with no low points…and no one to bring me down. But that's just not reality, is it? A section from today's devotion by Chambers was a big slap in the face for me. It read:

"Pick yourself up by the back of the neck and shake off your fleshly laziness. Laziness can always be seen in our cravings for a mountaintop experience; all we talk about is our planning for our time on the mountain. We must learn to live in the ordinary “gray” day according to what we saw on the mountain."

It was an "ordinary gray day" here today. Mom and I actually woke up to sleet and snow this morning and by noon we probably had about 3 inches of snow at the church offices. I felt my "fleshy laziness" craving a jolt, an emotional and spiritual kick in the pants. It was also an "ordinary gray day" inside my heart and soul. I was in a funk most of the day. I really don't know why, but when I got your text late in the afternoon--telling us you were hunkered down in your tent playing cards in the rain--it lifted my spirits. I could easily envision both of you laughing and enjoying each other's company as the North Carolina Spring drenched you…your tent…and everything around you. In my head I could easily hear both of you laughing joyfully…like you do so often together. Proverbs 17:22 reads:

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
  
Thinking of you both laughing and playing War or 21 with a deck of cards in the middle of the North Carolina woods brought joy to my heart. And when I read in your text that you plan to hike to the Nantahala Outdoor Center for a "delicious hot breakfast" tomorrow…I was filled with even more joy. Life is SO simple for you at this moment in time. Dry clothes…a warm bed…a hot meal…a game of cards. These simple pleasures carry so much more weight and significance for you both right now…and it's a great reminder for me; a reminder to not let the mundane things of this life get in the way of my joy. 

"A joyful heart is good medicine." Thanks for the recommended daily dose today.       

Love,
Dad


Day 17: On Guard  

Okay. This is probably going to be short because we got to talk for awhile on the phone this afternoon, Katie. I was able to fill in some of the details as to why the last couple of weeks have been so hard. Then, right before I went home…a little after 6PM…things got worse. As I type this, I still don't know how this is going to play out. I think I mistakenly erased the document I'd been working on all day. Ugh! 

We put together a program for the men's retreat each year. It's usually about a 15-20 page booklet with all the information about the weekend (i.e., schedules, devotions, etc.) in it. I finished all of the copy, and my recommendations for Jordo and the graphics team, around 6PM. All I needed to do was upload the file into Jordo's folder on our mainframe. I was in a hurry…I thought I copied the file over from my folder on the mainframe into Jordo's. It's too hazy and too frustrating for me to detail the rest, but suffice it to say…I accidentally erased it. It's gone. All that work from today dumped out into the ether somewhere. Our techie guru Darrin Graham is going to see if he can find it (or at least a portion of it) on what he's calling a "Shadow Drive" on the mainframe. If he does, I might kiss him on the mouth!  :)  

I told Mom tonight that I feel like I'm under attack…even though the computer snafu was definitely "user error"…I still feel like I'm being attacked. Talk about the devil and his minions has always bugged me a little. In the back of my mind I can't help but think it sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus; cartoon demons with pitchforks. And sometimes it feels like it's just yo-yos attributing the common pitfalls of life to unseen entities. I feel that way sometimes…until I'm under attack. Then, it's all too real and I quickly turn to God in prayer. I Peter 5:8 reads:

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."   
I felt the adversary today…like I've felt him over the last couple of weeks. I don't know why. Is it because men's retreat is next weekend and it's been a powerful change-agent in men's lives over the last few years? Is it because the enemy wants to chip away at my faith because I'm consistently thinking (and worrying) about you two? Or is is simply because that's the way life always is…and normally I'm just not being watchful? In my job at Flatirons I see (and hear) a lot about the destruction the adversary causes. I hear it multiple times each day--stories of lives ripped apart by that evil devourer. And without exception, when I hear men tell me of their painful mistakes…I think to myself, "Please God, keep me from making that mistake!"

It's pretty easy to see how to avoid being devoured: Be sober-minded (or alert) and stay on guard. I know I told you to be watchful and stay on guard for people who mean to do you harm on the trail (Which is why I bought you each a survival knife!), but I also want to urge you both to be watchful and on guard for the enemy too. He's prowling…like a lion…and he wants to rip you two apart on this journey. He wants to create division…to stir up petty arguments and feelings and make you resent each other. So keep your eyes peeled and ask God to keep them ever open to the enemy's attacks. 

And I will do the same…and pray that Darriin is able to do the miraculous…kiss or not.

Love,
Dad


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

A Few More AT Posts...

Here are my most recent notes to our daughter Katie and son-in-law Nick as they thru-hike the Appalachian Trail. Thanks for your interest in their journey.  

—Dan 
       
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Day 10: Success & Commitment

This morning began with a very brief text from you confirming:

"We are crossing over to North Carolina today!

Knowing that you were only 4 miles from North Carolina when the text came through was a great start to the day! Mom and I are so proud of you. That's a great accomplishment! If you include the half-section of the Approach Trail you hiked on the first day, you two have logged over 80 miles already. Try not thinking about the many miles still ahead. Remember: One step at a time. Enjoy the journey. 


Mom and I got to watch Emery and Micah tonight so that Ben and Ali could have a night out. I had mentioned to Ben a couple of days ago that you two were getting waterlogged in your tiny tent from all the rain you've had…and like a good brother…he gave me his tent to ship to you. I plan to waterproof it tomorrow and get it ready to ship. I just need you guys to tell me where to mail it. While we were watching the kids, I opened up the green tent pouch to check the poles and to see if all the pieces were inside. As I pulled the rainfly out of the bag, the familiar scent of musty nylon took me back. I told Mom, "That smell brings back the memories." And as I drove home in my little red truck, the smell quickly filled the cab and made me smile. I like knowing that the tent Ben and I used for our 12 day hike on the AT through Georgia in 2006 will serve as your temporary housing for a portion of your hike. It just seems right!    

You two have already surpassed in less than 10 days what Ben and I did in 12 days. Again, that just seems right. You will learn someday what I think every parent feels toward their kids; we all want what's best for our children and we want our kids to (hopefully) do better and/or surpass what we've done and accomplished. As I told you many times before you started this adventure, I want you to succeed in this. Not only do I want you to make it all the way to Mt. Katahdin in Maine…I want you to soak up this experience like a sponge and then wring yourselves out…not leaving anything undone or unexperienced. I know you are committed to this too, but it's going to be hard. The only way to pull this off is to rely on each other…and God.      

Proverbs 16:3 reads: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

I really hope you are committing each day to the Lord--knowing that the only way to succeed is wholly based on God's grace. When you commit whatever you do to Him it takes the weight off of you and places it solely where it belongs. So stay committed as you begin your trek through the 95+ miles of North Carolina. Success is guaranteed when commitment is anchored in the right place.   

Love,
Dad


Day 11: Appalachian Spring

Well, your car is finally off the street in front of the house and in our garage. It took all morning, but I got the garage cleaned out and organized. Your little car is now tucked away and waiting for your return. 

It was beautiful here today. Spring seems to really have arrived in Colorado. The trees have all blossomed and budded and there was a warmth in the air today that I haven't felt in a while. It was fun being outside, piddling around in the garage. It's been 4 weeks since my hernia surgery, so I decided to really put it to the test by lifting more than I've lifted in weeks. You know I can't work in my garage without some music, and today was the perfect day, so I dropped Aaron Copland into the CD player. "Appalachian Spring" never sounded better. Needless to say, you were both on my mind. As Appalachian Spring reached its crescendo, I just stood and listened...hoping the rain had stopped in North Carolina...and that it was just as Spring-like there for you as it was for us  in Colorado.

After finishing up in the garage, Mom and I worked in the yard and by the time we headed off to church tonight, I was feeling it a little--feeling my age. I won't lie. I hate getting old. 

Spring and Fall. 

There's no getting around it; I'm in the autumn of my life, but you two are still in your Spring...Summer's coming, but it's still Spring for you. And as I listened to the beautifully, majestic, sadly moving orchestration of Copland's "Appalachian Spring" in my garage this morning, I was grateful for your Spring. The Spring of your youth...the Spring of 2015...and where you are spending them both. 

Ecclesiastes 3 begins with: "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..."


There is a season for everything...and the season for you is Spring...an Appalachian Spring. And soon your Appalachian Spring will turn to Summer...somewhere between North Carolina and Virginia...and not long after you return to settle back down in Colorado. Spring to Summer. Summer to Fall. Fall to Winter.

As much as we all might wish...no season lasts forever. 

Love,
Dad


Day 12: Trained Up

Sunday is usually the day we catch up with family. A lot of times Mom calls your grandma on Sundays and (if I haven't checked in on my way home during the week) I'll try and call Nana and Papa on Sundays. So it was fitting to get your call(s) today from Franklin, NC. Mom and I loved hearing about the hike so far--and can't wait to see the video you're going to post soon. As we said on the phone today, we can't get over how much you two have been able to stay in contact with us during this trek in the wilderness!

It was a little disconcerting to hear about your constant sore tendons, blistering toes and other physical woes, but we trust that you will listen to your bodies and not stress yourselves too much. I guess I knew that this hike would take a toll on you both...I just wasn't ready to hear the reality of it. Still, we are both encouraged by how high your spirits are and by hearing how much you're loving this journey--despite the physical strains.

Katie, you've always known (and Nick, you've learned) that I am not one who coddles. I've learned...and have tried to pass along...the reality that we gain strength (and some of our greater insights) when things are at their worst. It's often said that tough times don't necessarily build character as much as prove character. Part of disciplining little kids (along with correction) is instilling wisdom and strength in them. Katie, you were such a strong-willed little girl growing up. There were times (more than I care to remember) when you pressed our patience beyond the breaking point. I tried to reassure myself during those days that your strong will would be a blessing when you were older. But there were times when you REALLY made it hard! (haha!) And Nick, you haven't had the easiest of lives from the start. You know how much my heart breaks at some of what you've had to face growing up. Still, it's shaped you into the man you are today. You are both stronger because of the hard times you've already walked through.

Proverbs 22:6 reads:
"Train up a child in the way he (or she) should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Some of your training for this trip started when you were both still in diapers...Some of it in middle school and high school through the struggles you each faced then...and some of your training has happened in the rough times you've had as a young married couple. No matter what, I know that it has strengthened you both to the core...which will serve you well as this trip wears on your bodies and minds.

Nietzsche said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." This seems to be true. I will try my best to remind myself (and our resident softy: Mom) of this when we get word about your future physical struggles over the next several weeks. 

We will put your re-supply boxes in the mail tomorrow...pray for you daily...and wait for your next update! 

Love,
Dad


Day 13: Holy Moments

I know that you are both reading this from the comfort of your room at the Sapphire Inn in Franklin, NC. That makes me happy--knowing that you are resting, eating well, and icing down sore tendons and ligaments. Your text today…telling us that you were going to hang back from hiking an extra day…came at the perfect time. I was in the midst of some tough stuff at the office and the news that you were resting another day was a virtual shot in the arm for me. I kept thinking to myself, "They deserve (and need) this break." Enjoy! What else is there to do?

Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 reads:

"A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?"


I sure hope you are finding satisfaction in your toil by eating more greasy cheeseburgers from Mulligan's…and quenching your thirst with a couple of the local brews. Let's face it, we have to consume proteins, calories and carbohydrates to fuel our bodies. But eating and drinking…that's an entirely different matter. I think that (when it's done right) the act of eating and drinking can be entirely spiritual. I firmly believe that this is why God instituted eating rituals into our lives. The Passover meal…which Jesus transformed into communion: eating and drinking. And why did God make it a meal? He could have used anything, but He chose to make it a meal--creating a holy moment. I don't know why. My opinion: I think it's because meals are about as temporary as anything we do in this life, yet hold the highest potential for leaving indelible marks on us. I mean, what else in life requires all of our senses (sight, sound, smell, touch and taste) with such profound enjoyment, and then is gone in a heartbeat? Poof! Literally down the drain! Everyone has a favorite meal or a favorite memory attached to a meal. I'm sure that you will both remember your cheeseburger and fries at Mulligan's until your dying day…fondly recalling every part of that meal from the decor in the restaurant to your waitresses (or waiter's) name. 

I would also guess that you appreciated those burgers yesterday (and probably today) more than just about any meal you've eaten. Probably because of what it cost you (i.e., the miles hiked, the aches & pains, etc.)…making that meal a holy moment. Again, I can't help but think of communion--another meal swimming in deep appreciation--due to the cost. I smile as I type this. I had a burger tonight too. No bun, just a leftover cheeseburger from a couple of nights ago. Protein and a little bit of dairy. 

I envy you your holy moment at Mulligan's. 

Love,

Dad