All I Want For Christmas Is…

Today's Guest Blog comes to us from my good friend and Christian counselor Dave Garrison. Enjoy.
- Dan

Christmas can be a tough time of the year, can’t it? Aren’t you sick of all the commercials this time of year, too? Each one promising the same: a better body, true happiness and a more satisfying relationship…if only you buy their latest wonder product (“In just three easy payments!”). It’s enough to make me want to throw a brick through the TV set.

My kids are most susceptible to the influence of this “want” advertising, and each day brings a new desire to be added to their Christmas List for Santa. I fall prey to it too: Yes, I want the latest Apple gadget, but I also want more money and more certainty in my life. All of that seems shallow and fleeting…and it is.

The Bible makes clear what the real wants of men and women are: “Husbands love your wives” and “wives respect your husbands” (Ephesians 5). Guys, our wives or girlfriends want our love and our nurturing…and likewise, we want (and need) their respect and appreciation. But wanting to make your partner happy can be futile. The shiny, glittery things fade or rust; money is quickly spent (and gone); and there will always be “the next best thing”. Solomon, the wisest, richest guy who ever lived called these things “meaningless” (See: The Book of Ecclesiastes). So what’s a guy to do?!

I’m right in the thick of this.

Looking deeper into my relationship, I want my wife to be happy this Christmas season. You know the saying “If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”. But what I’ve come to realize, after many failed attempts, is that I can’t make my wife happy. No amount of money or bright and shiny things can take away the pain and grief she’s experienced this year: the death of her mother. Maybe I can’t make her happy…but what I can do is love her in the mess, and try and make a difference in her world. Like, doing more around the house. Helping out at meal time. Working with the kids on homework and not being so snarky about my own emotional and physical needs. And dare I say it…turning off the television. These are all steps that I know would lead to making a difference in my home.

After taking another look at the Christmas Wish List, I think it should probably look like this:

MY KIDS: My undivided attention (and not just during Halftime)
MY WIFE: My love and active involvement in the day-to-day life of the household

As far as I know, Apple hasn’t come up with an app that takes the place of a dad (thank God!), nor has RonCo created a replacement for a husband (“Slices, dices, does the dishes!”). Not yet anyway. Perhaps God is saying, “Be a good Santa and give your family what they really want…More of you.”

Tim Tebow: God's Quarterback?

God doesn’t play favorites. We all know that, right? I mean, the Bible’s clear on this. God loves everyone the same and wants us all to be saved and know His truth (1 Timothy 2:4). Jesus stood on a mountainside in Galilee and clarified this when He said that God, “…causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:46) —meaning that (in all things) God uses a level playing field. And that includes everyone; those who love and obey Him…and those who deny He even exists. That being said, I have two words for you:

Tim Tebow.

I mean, c’mon! On any given Sunday (and on ESPN on Monday nights) the Astroturf of every American football field is filled with the righteous and unrighteous. From A to Z (or A to W, actually). From the Arizona Cardinals to the Washington Redskins, every pro football team has its share of players who point to heaven and thank God for every tackle and yard gained and, likewise, every team has its share of players who use God’s name in vain as frequently as the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders show off their belly buttons.

But then there’s Tim Tebow. He of the controversial post-game, on-bended-knee, prayer and the spectacular, beyond belief, 4^th quarter, last-minute victory.

And after watching him lead the Broncos to (yet) ANOTHER overtime win this past Sunday afternoon, I have to admit…it caused me to question the whole righteous and unrighteous stuff for a second. Now wait…I still firmly believe that God rules with sovereignty and justice over all His creation, but watching the Broncos beat the Bears in overtime Sunday caused me to wonder if maybe God doesn’t have a little “Tebow Fever” Himself. And I know I’m not the only one thinking that. You too?

All kidding aside, I don’t think God has been reaching down from heaven to help the Broncos win…and neither does Tim Tebow. It’s evident in every post-game press conference I’ve seen or heard. Yes. Tim Tebow is very outspoken about his faith in Jesus, but I have yet to hear him say that God won a game for him. Instead, Tebow’s quick to thank Jesus for the opportunity and ability to play…and equally quick to thank his teammates for the win. And I have a strong feeling that when he loses (which is bound to eventually happen, guys) ,Tim Tebow will be just as gracious to his teammates…and just as thankful to Jesus in defeat as he is in victory.

It’s obvious that Tim Tebow loves to play football, and when he does, I can’t help but be reminded of two things…the first is what Paul writes in Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

The second thing I think of comes from one of my favorite sports movies, Chariots of Fire—based on the real-life events of two British runners in the 1924 Olympics.  One runner, Eric Liddell, was a Christian who ran the 100 meters. In the movie, Liddell’s faith is questioned by his sister because he’s chosen to run in the Olympics instead of entering the mission field. In that scene Liddell tells his sister, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”Isn’t that great? And can’t you just hear something like that coming out of Tim Tebow’s mouth at a press conference?

The real truth is, God made all of us (Tim Tebow included) for a purpose. But God also made us (Take your pick) smart, strong, talented, wise, thoughtful, funny, compassionate, etc. The question is…are you fulfilling what God made you for? And are you feeling His pleasure? Tim Tebow reminds me just how fun and various God is with His creation…and how I need to exhaust all He has given me…to fulfill my purpose…and to feel His pleasure.

So…do I think God is winning games for Tim Tebow? No. Not at all! Actually, the only miracle I see happening in this amazing season with Tim Tebow and the Broncos is this: a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan like me (who is STILL smarting from Elway and The Drive) might actually don the blue and orange and root for the Denver Broncos. Now THAT, my friends, would be a miracle!

Baby Boom Time

It’s been a literal baby boom around the Flatirons offices lately. Like that long list of scheduled holiday arrivals at DIA this week, there has been a steady stream of baby arrivals amongst the Flatirons staff members and their families. We all know, Flatirons is a VERY fertile church…and it’s no more evident than with the staff right now.

To drive that point even further home, I just (quite literally) received an email confirmation of the latest arrival: Madeline Grace—the 7lb. 13oz. baby girl of first-time parents Serban and Brittany Maracine. Congratulations! Madeline joins the growing list of recent arrivals: Charlie Koehn, Smith Weingartner, Lucy Ochoki, Salem Wallace and Holt Terrell. As of this writing, the next arrival within the church offices should be Little Baby Yeager—scheduled for release sometime mid-February.  

New parents. New babies. New experiences. New challenges. It’s all so very wonderful…and all so very temporary. Over too quickly. I can’t help it. I have a bit of a vantage point from my side of the fence now. It’s been a long while since we’ve had a baby in the Foote household. Our eldest, Ben, entered this world wriggling and squirming and covered in (what appeared to be) cream cheese over 26 years ago. Our daughter Katie tripped the odometer back in May when she turned 21.

And as the sun rose this morning, and the Maracine’s were cuddling and smooching little Madeline for the first time, I was dropping Ben (and his wife Ali) off at the airport to spend Thanksgiving away from us for the first time. It's going to be a little weird, but it's okay. Ben and Ali need to be with her parents and with her grandparents in Indiana this holiday. They are entering a new season in life, a season where you come to the realization that all of us…not matter what…only have so many Thanksgivings, and so many birthdays, and so many Christmases together.

So as this season begins for our new parents, I join in celebrating these new little arrivals...and I’ll watch with pleasure as they begin this beautiful, God-ordained dance we call “family”. King Solomon wrote about it best in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8…

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Time. There is a time for everything. And time is a gift, not a guarantee. Through Solomon, God reminds us to treasure our time…whatever season we find ourselves in. For all the new moms and dads at Flatirons, be encouraged. Now is a GREAT TIME! A time for cooing and a time for gurgling. A time for sleepless nights and a time for weary days. A time for Gerbers creamed carrots and a time for poopy diapers. A time for first giggles and a time for first steps.

It is a season.

And soon this season will end and give way to another season. A time for Little League and a time for Chucky Cheese birthday parties…which will only give way to a time for drivers’ licenses and a time for Senior Proms…and to a time for college loans and a time for weddings…and a time for…well, you get the point.

Welcome Madeline. Serb and Brit (and all you others)…enjoy this time.   

Owners Manual Not Included

Dave Garrison is just a darn good guy. He loves God and loves people. He loves to hike and he loves Flatirons. Dave’s also the owner and chief counselor at Genesis Counseling, and he really helped out at Men’s Retreat this year by leading the breakout session on Anger. Dave and I were talking over coffee at IHOP this morning and he shared this great analogy on life. I thought it was so good, I asked him to write the Flatirons Men’s blog this week. Here you go…

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Earlier this summer I bought a new lawn mower.  Lugged it home from the home improvement store and broke open the box.  I tossed the Owner’s Manual aside after taking a quick glance at the picture of the assembled mower on the cover.  It took me more than an hour to assemble my new, red, grass eating machine.  SUCCESS! 

Well, kind of... I had to peek at which bolt went where in the handle assembly…then fifteen minutes more to learn that I had to engage the flywheel brake just to get the darn thing to start.  It only took ten more minutes after that…and a trip to the gas station with my 2.5 plastic gas container and some small engine oil before Big Red was finally ready for his first green feast.

Later that day, friends of ours came over with their newborn and toddler for a barbeque…and of course to admire my artistic mowing abilities. They kept mentioning that kids don’t come with an owner’s manual.  Hmmm…

Lying in bed that night, after a “terse marital discussion” (a.k.a. argument) with my wife, I was thinking how cool it would be if I had the owner’s manual for her or for my own kids.  Wow! How many arguments, conflicts, and confusions that could solve!  I can see it now…Communication Problems? See Page 56.  Unexpected Problems or Customer Service? See Page 62… “Tighten this”, “Adjust that” Voila!  Relationship running smooth, smelling like fresh cut grass! Then it occurred to me, perhaps people (myself included) don’t come with an owner’s manual because WE’RE NOT THE OWNER. 

The Bible says that Jesus bought us at a price with His sacrifice on the cross.  He’s the owner…and knows what’s best.  When I take over…black smoke, backfiring, and complete malfunction aren’t too far behind.  Jesus says “Follow me”, “Come”.  He knows best.  I still struggle to trust Him, but am realizing He has the Owner’s Manual on me…and knows me better than I know myself. 

Thankfully God has provided an operator’s manual in the form of the Bible for guidance, encouragement, and “further assistance” (I’m aware sometimes I toss that manual aside as well). Big mistake when I think of all the time, energy, and heart ache I would save myself if I simply consulted the Bible first…and more often.  The Bible does say that God will lead us to green pastures (See: Psalm 23).  My job is to follow Jesus, the owner of my life, and check the Bible on a regular basis for “upkeep and maintenance”. 

Still…I think a page from my wife’s owner’s manual about “The Muffler:  Noise Reduction in Martial Conflict” would be pretty cool to have…and would come in handy more often than not…What can I say?  Pray for me.       

– Dave Garrison

Swimming with the Sharks

I recently had this great opportunity to go scuba diving in Honduras off the island of Roatan. It was amazing! Diving with every kind of sea creature imaginable…sea turtles, moray eel and an endless array of brightly colored fish that looked like floating candy in the water.

But the highlight of the week was easily the Shark Dive.

After taking a choppy boat ride a half mile offshore, our group dropped down 70 ft onto a reef where we were instantly surrounded by 10 or 12 Caribbean Reef Sharks. Honestly (as much as I’d like to play up the risk factor) it was all very controlled. The sharks were simply there for dinner. And no…dinner was not us...but a 5 gallon bucket filled with fish parts. After the bucket lid was removed, and the feeding frenzy ended, the sharks disappeared as quickly as they came—the only trace of their visit was a few teeth left by the battered fish bucket.

Now, the dive guides made it VERY clear before we got in the water: Keep your hands and arms at your sides and DO NOT try to touch the sharks. As controlled as the dive experience was...the truth is; they were still sharks and (given the opportunity) they would probably take a bite.

Still. I was tempted to reach out and touch one.

Why is that? Why am I so tempted by the things I know will hurt me? And not just reef sharks. I mean, why do I allow myself to be tempted by the things of this world…the stupid stuff that I know will only ruin my life? As Jim Burgen says, “We are all just 5 minutes away from making a bad decision that will blow up our lives.”

And the sharks of this world (lust, greed, envy, etc.) are not nearly as easy going as those Caribbean Reef Sharks. And the environments we live in aren’t nearly as controlled as that dive in Roatan. James (Jesus’ brother) writes this about temptation in James 1:13-15:

“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

God doesn’t tempt us. We allow ourselves to be tempted. And while temptation may not be a sin…it IS the first step on a very slippery slope. Our temptation leads to our evil desires…which lead to sin (or acting on those evil desires)…which, in turn, lead to death.

And I don’t think James is writing about physical death necessarily. The kind of death I usually see that occurs from sin is this:

·        If I’m tempted by the beauty of another woman…that can lead to lust…which can lead to acting out that lust…which WILL lead to the death of my marriage.

·        If I’m tempted by the greed in my heart…that can lead to lusting after things I can’t afford…which can lead to racking up huge credit debt or unscrupulous business practices…which WILL lead to the death of my financial world.

And the list (and the types of death that temptation leads to) goes on and on. In the end, it’s pretty simple and James puts it best:

Don’t Go Swimming with the Sharks.

Building Blocks

Being a dad can be tough business. It seems like there’s always something tugging and pulling you away from what you need to be doing—namely just spending time with your kids. I heard it said a long time ago that kids spell LOVE this way: T-I-M-E—there’s no such thing as “quality vs. quantity” time in your kid’s world. Quantity IS quality.

That’s why, when I first heard about Darrin’s trip with his boys I thought, “Now that’s a dad who’s getting it right.” Darrin is the mastermind behind all the computer wizardry that goes on behind the scenes here at Flatirons, and this past summer he took his two boys, loaded them up in his Jeep, and headed to San Diego. Destination: Legoland! I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Legoland, but I’m sure you’ve seen a Lego or two…and have most likely sprayed the air blue after stepping on one with your bare feet in the middle of the night. Either way, Legoland is heaven—especially for boys ages 4-12…which is where Darrin’s boys land smack-dab in the middle of.

And I couldn’t get past the metaphor. It was so easy to see! Legos are some of the world’s most popular building blocks…and here was a dad, hauling his 9 and 10 year old sons 1,100 miles across the country to do some building of his own; spending some valuable time building connection and making memories…some of the best building blocks to a happy and healthy relationship between a father and his kids.

I know that Darrin and his boys had a great time at Legoland, and that they picked up some new, cool Lego models, but I can guarantee that (in the end) the building done between Darrin and his boys in that Jeep for 35 hours will far outlast the little plastic building blocks that litter his boy’s toy room…and echo throughout their lives together…and into eternity.