More Than We Can Handle

Here's some good stuff from our friend Kevin Vannorsdel. Check it out.

-Dan

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“More Than We Can Handle”

Recently I was in a discussion where someone mentioned that “God wouldn't give us more than we can handle”.  It seems like this idea surfaces every now and then and often I am unsure exactly how to respond.  I thought given the recent events here in Colorado, it would be good to examine the idea just briefly.

The use (or mis-use) of certain Bible verses in today’s culture is one of my favorite topics [1].  It turns out that the notion that God won’t give us more than we can handle falls squarely into this category.  The Bible simply doesn't make this claim.

So where does the idea come from?  I am actually not sure, the closest verse that I can find is in 1 Corinthians [2]:

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Of course it is plain to see that here Paul is talking about temptation specifically and not “hard times” in general. 

So what does the Bible say about protection from suffering?  Unfortunately in my view, not much!  In fact it seems that suffering is a very integral part of life as a Christian.  All of us in the ultimate sense, will eventually die from something that is greater than “we can bear” [3]. Take a look at the book of Job, consider the life of Jesus himself, have a look at the lives of those in the early church (Acts).   Suffering seems to be an integral part of the Christian experience.  I’m not exactly happy about it but I am not defeated by it either.

Numerous passages discuss how we are to be “Joyful” in the face of sufferings.  These passages at first glance can be extremely hard to stomach and may seem nearly impossible to make real in our lives.  Perhaps someday I can share with you some about my journey through these concepts.  Suffice it to say that there are some VERY real reasons that we indeed can be joyful when suffering comes our way [4].

One of my favorite passages in this regard is 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.   I've written a bit about this previously here:  http://flatironsmen.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-desert-song_26.html  .   I noticed that Trent has referenced some of these passages in his blog posts as well.

The bottom line is this:  God never promised to protect us from suffering in this life.   In fact, just the opposite seems to be true [5].  We certainly all will experience hard times that are “more than we can handle”.  God does ask us to depend upon him during these times.  He promises to ride with us through them, to help us learn from them, and to use them in our lives for good.  Frankly, I wish things were different, but I’ve decided that God knows more about this than I do.  I hope you have too!

-Kevin

[1] See “The Most Misused Verses in the Bible” by Eric Bargerhuff for some interesting reading on the topic.

[2] Jim actually referenced this verse last weekend in his sermon.  Of course he used it properly!

[3] Unless Jesus returns first!

[4] Some of these reasons are not so obvious but are indeed satisfying.

[5] I highly recommend a book by RC Sproul entitled “Surprised by Suffering”.

Our good friend Trent Culver has some wise words for us--a great "Me Too" addition to the Men's Blog. Enjoy.

--Dan Foote

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“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

We resist adversity. Should we? God uses adversity in our lives to create character and wisdom and to draw us and others to His light.

"His light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

  

Perhaps I'm too thick headed, stubborn or stupid to seek God in good circumstances. 

Why is it easier to contemplate and consider God when I'm off center and otherwise out of balance?

Is this indicative of the human condition?

Christ died while we were still sinners. He didn't come for the healthy, he came for the sick. It is much harder, perhaps impossible, to acknowledge my utter dependence on Christ when I perceive myself healthy.

On a base understanding of God, this makes no sense. This world, by itself, offers nothing of eternal significance.  

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" (James 1:17).

God brings eternal significance to our lives. Without Him, we are nothing. Our lives and relationships carry no lasting meaning without Christ. Our earthly circumstances, good or bad, are irrelevant when related to eternity.

-- Trent Culver

Remembering Jack

“I’ve never really told him what a good dad he was, but I hope he knew.” This is what my wife Amy said yesterday (through tears) after returning home from Florida—having spent most of last week with her parents.

You may have already noticed that she spoke of her dad, Jack, in the past tense. No, Amy’s dad isn’t dead, but he is most definitely passing away from us…daily. It’s the insidious part of Alzheimer’s disease—the slow, methodical robbing of memory and a life once lived—a good life…lived by a good man, a good husband, and a good father.    

In many ways my father-in-law, Jack Hysell, has lived a very normal and un-extraordinary life—much like most of the men from his generation. He was born in 1929 in Columbus, OH. He grew up there—a very quiet boy. He loved to play baseball—and was an ace pitcher in his day. He learned to drive…and learned to love cars. He graduated from high school and went into the service…where he just missed the Korean War. He did his time in the army. He got out and got married…and married well. Over time, he grew to be a very quiet man with a very quick wit. He got a job at a print shop and helped raise four kids on a printer’s salary. He bought a house. He took his family on vacations in Florida. He went to church and was trusted enough to help count the offering. He got older. He golfed. He took care of his cars. He lost most of his hair. He retired and eventually moved to Florida—where he and his wife, Marty, live to this day.

And in-between all of that, Jack lived his life and made his memories. But that’s not unusual, is it? We all live our lives and make our memories. A lot of Jack’s memories came long before I was even part of his life…and there’s been a lot more memories made since I married his youngest daughter and moved her hundreds and hundreds of miles from their home. But if I know anything, I know this: most of Jack Hysell’s life (and his memories) revolve around his family; his wife, his kids, and his grandkids.

And not all of those memories are necessarily good ones.    

There’s been a lot of death and struggle and hurt and pain intermingled with all the rest of his life; everything from…a father who abandoned him at birth…to a son who has battled drug and alcohol addiction most of his life. When you spend as many years walking the earth as Jack has…you’re going to see your fair share of troubles. It’s just as Jesus promises in John 16:33, “…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world…”

And now, in his Twilight Years, Jack is dealing with another form of “trouble” that the world has to offer: Alzheimer’s. I picked up Amy from the airport yesterday, but it wasn’t until we got home that the tears finally came. We sat on our bed as she talked through her visit with her folks—the sad, and painful, reality of a life with someone who has Alzheimer’s: The day-to-day routine with someone who must be constantly reminded what his day-to-day routine is…the patience of a wife who must now treat her husband…her lover and protector…the same way she used to treat the preschoolers that once filled their home years ago…and the continual march of the disease…the deliberate, cancerous erasing of memory.  

But along with all the sad and sobering news from Florida, Amy also told me how, in the midst of all the devastating effects of Alzheimer’s, her dad hasn’t lost his quick wit. Jack’s always been a funny man and quite a teaser. One time last week, when Marty was talking about her own medication issues…and how, if she takes one certain pill, it will knock her out for an hour…Jack slyly responded, “Then, why don’t you go ahead and take three?”  

And that’s when Amy broke down and said, “He’s a great dad. I’ve never really told him what a good dad he was, but I hope he knew.” I assured her that he knew…and even though he may not have recognized her through most of their visit last week, I told Amy I was sure her dad knew that she loved him…and that she thought he was the best dad in the world. That was clear to me the day I first shook hands with him and saw how Amy acted around her father. I knew immediately, I had my work cut out for me…if I was ever going to steal her heart from him.  

Now, I know that a lot of our stories may not have started out with such a good dad—much like Jack’s own story. Some of you out there had abusive or dismissive or angry or flat-out missing dads. But some of us had great dads…dads that were there when we needed them…dads who cut an easy trail for us to follow. And then, there are some of you who had (or have) a dad that falls somewhere in between.

Either way, God makes it clear how important the role a father has in this life. I know you’ve heard it said that a son learns what kind of husband he should be by watching his father…and likewise…a daughter learns what kind of husband to long for by watching her father. Paul makes it crystal clear in Ephesians 6:4 when he writes: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

There is a specific role a father plays in the lives of his children…and in the tone and the environment of the home. Not that his role is any more important than the role of a mother…it’s just that the weight and bearing and imprint that a father can leave on his family can either bring nurturing, long-term benefits…or it can leave a destructive path that is hard to overcome. For lots of us, that’s our story: either a lifetime of long-term benefits or a life-path littered in devastation.   

I had a very sobering discussion with my own son several weeks ago in my office, talking through some of (the many) mistakes I made as a father—some of which we recorded…leaving the damning evidence of video as a continual reminder!

Ben was preparing for a talk he was giving in Student Ministries for their series titled: Daddy Issues. It was VERY humbling to sit and listen to my adult son recount how I had exasperated him growing up…and emotionally scarring him. It was hard for me to hear, but I think it was equally instructive for Ben to come to grips with the fact that no one gets out of childhood unscathed (especially as he nears the onset of fatherhood himself with the birth of his first child). In the end, we all walk away from childhood…into adulthood…carrying some of the wounds and baggage of imperfect parenting. The question is: Will we allow those scars to define us or to chart the courses of our future? I hope not.

So, I guess the takeaway from all my rambling is twofold:

(1) The Trail, our Men's Bible Study and discussion time is coming to an end at 7PM on Thursday night, June 13th. Jesse DeYoung's going to talk about a lot of this stuff in a message titled, "Am I Good Enough?". Don't miss it. We'll have a Santiago's burrito waiting for you (while supplies last).

(2) It’s almost Father’s Day, so let’s use our time wisely with our dads. Let’s do our best to bring peace and healing to our broken relationships…as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). Let’s visit (or at least call or Skype) our dads to tell them how much they mean to us and how much they’re appreciated. Let’s say the things we need to say…before it’s too late.

And, if you’re a dad, no matter how old your kids are, let’s try to be the kinds of dads that will make our kids cry—in a good way…the way Amy cried yesterday… remembering a good dad…who can no longer remember her.      

—Dan

Her Name Is Emery

Her name is Emery, and I can't wait to meet her, but I'll get to that in a second.

First, I wanted to write about Shirley. She’s my mother—and the mother of my other three brothers. That’s right. Four boys. She was the only woman in a house full of men, but make no mistake…she was (and still is) a formidable woman to deal with. I will admit, she was not a perfect mother, but she was perfect for us. Raising four snotty, burping, farting, cantankerous boys into four (semi) functional, burping, farting men is no easy task, yet she seemed to do it with joy…and honor…and (yes) maybe even some pleasure—on a few of the days, at least. And while I know my mom will cry when she reads this, she will always hold that special place in my heart (and in my brother’s hearts too) that only a mom can hold...and her laugh…her beautiful, infectious, full-bodied laugh…is still one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard on earth.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  

Secondly, I wanted to write about Amy, my wife, and the mother of our two kids, Ben and Katie. I got to be there for both of their births—a front row seat. I stood there next to the hospital bed like an idiot as Amy passed a proverbial “bowling ball through a straw”. My only participation—aside from the obvious one 9 months earlier—was holding Amy’s hand and squishing her head into the pillow. It was the only thing that felt good to her during childbirth. Amy was (and still is) the loving, softer, nurturing side of our parental duo. I call it being “good cop” to my “bad cop”. She calls it being a mom. And while I know Amy will cry when she reads this, she is not a perfect mom, but she loves both our kids (and their spouses) with an immeasurable passion that always puts me to wonder.    

Happy Mother’s Day, Amy.  

And then there’s Ali, my daughter-in-law—the wife of my son Ben. Ali walked into our living room in Texas 7 years ago and life has never been the same since. This pretty, little waif-of-a-girl not only captured Ben’s heart…she captured all of our hearts…and their wedding day will always be one of the happiest days of my life. Fast forward to a Broncos game shortly before Christmas when Ali stepped in front of the TV set holding her 3 month old nephew Jonah. Ali told the family that Jonah had an announcement to make. None of us caught it at first, but Jonah was wearing a homemade t-shirt that read: “Big Cousin”.

Pregnancy becomes Ali. It’s been so fun watching her grow—this tiny little woman with the ever-expanding belly—growing into a mother. And even though she’s concerned that her baby bump gets in the way of her dental hygienist duties by colliding with patients’ heads, she’s got nothing to worry about. No one could ever be bothered by her. I mean, she’s so cute she makes your cheeks hurt!

And while she might cry when she reads this (I mean, she IS pregnant!), it is SO obvious that Ali is going to be a great mom. She already has a passion and a love for this baby that also puts me to wonder. God has been preparing Ali for this her whole life. She won’t do it perfectly (no one ever has or ever will), but she will be perfect for this little girl…her daughter…my granddaughter.

Happy Mother’s Day, Ali.

Her name is Emery and I can’t wait to meet her. She’s almost here, only 7 more weeks until I can hold her. I’ve seen her (sort of) as she’s moved silently across Ali’s tummy—doing somersaults in preparation for her delivery. The 3D ultrasound last week has only increased my anticipation (See Below).  

I look at that ultrasound image of Emery and can’t help but think about what David wrote in Psalms:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:13-17)

And in this broken, fallen world, where it seems like evil is prevailing, I find hope in knowing that whatever is in store for Emery (the good AND the bad) has already passed through the hands of God. All the kisses and hugs...all the coughs and colds...all her sleepless nights and all her birthdays...all her friendships and fights...and sleepovers and skinned knees…and broken hearts and broken bones…in all of these...God is already there.

I pray that He will etch this truth on Ben and Ali’s hearts—and on my heart too.

—Dan   

Sin

Following Jim Burgen's message this past weekend (“Full of It” – April 6/7, 2013), our good buddy Trent Culver wrote the following blog to share. Very thought provoking...and convicting.

—Dan

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There are two things common to all people: All have sinned—all fall short of the glory of God and God has placed eternity in the hearts of men.

Our world is broken. Satan opposes God and all that He loves. As a result, satan opposes humanity. He calls our attention to the things of this world. Materialism, power, distorted sexuality, substance abuse and un-numbered other distractions all fight for the love of God. Pride is our coping mechanism. At our core, we know that we are flawed and finite. Pride covers up and numbs us to our sin and sense of eternity.

In pride we deny God's truth and in doing so, we deny God.

As Christians, we live in the light. We are strangers in this world. As such, we should expect opposition from it. When done right, Christianity's roots are grace and truth. Humanity's adversary hates both. He is a destructive liar bent on preserving the chaos, confusion and disorder of this world. His lies are so effective that many people accept them as truth. As a result, many of the lies are written into our cultural fabric. When general acceptance of these lies is combined with human pride and insecurity, intolerance is born. The results are polarizing. As a result, people desperately in need of both grace and truth are duped to believe that they need neither.

The level of opposition that Christianity receives from the mainstream provides evidence of two truths: Satan has powerful influence in this world and Jesus Christ is truth. I know of no other belief system that is opposed by the world in the way that Christianity is.

To preserve worldly chaos and humanity's detachment from the divine, satan strives to keep those lost in darkness. Satan's tactic with the believer is similar. With us, he also exploits our insecurity and fills us with pride. In observing the sin of this world, our error is to target the sin and sinner and forget about our enemy who is the real source of the problem. 

The pride and self righteousness of Christians and Christian religion has done immeasurable damage to the cause of Christ. As believers, we have to be different. Because we know Christ and have received His spirit it is up to us to greet the cold intolerance and opposition of this world with grace and love. If we are to be like Christ, we have to be willing to "turn the other cheek", to be spat upon by the world and love the spitter just the same.

As Christians, we will be opposed by this world.

—Trent

A Holy Moment

So, I am what you’d call a “processor”. Meaning: It takes me awhile to process through major events and situations in my life. I’m GREAT at quickly processing everyone else’s stuff…but slow on the uptake when it comes to my own life. Case in point: my recent trip in February to South Sudan with the Flatirons missions team. Even though I’ve been back home for over a month now…I’m still working through what I experienced over there…especially my “Holy Moment”.

I’ll get to that in a second.  

The entire trip to Africa was amazing. It was amazingly far away. It was amazingly exotic and beautiful. And it was an amazingly difficult trip…emphasis on “difficult”! Our team of eleven (9 men and 2 women) also got along amazingly! We got to know each other in ways we never foresaw or expected. I guess that’s what happens when ALL semblance of privacy gets chucked out the window and you experience some stuff with friends that you’ve never experienced with your own wife! I mean, Amy and I have been married for almost 32 years, but I’ve never “dropped a deuce” side-by-side with her…like I had to with my buddy Andy Wineman!

No. That was NOT my Holy Moment.   

No…the real revelation from the trip was this: The Bible simply came alive to me! It was almost immediate. Watching the sheep, goats and cattle—led by the village shepherd boys—roaming in…through…and around us made it obvious that the culture and living conditions of Maper are much more like EVERYTHING we read in the Bible than ANYTHING we can ever experience here in 21^st Century America.

It was easy for me to envision the story of Jacob...who worked 7 years for Laban as a shepherd....payment for the chance to wed Rachel (Genesis 29). Then, after being tricked (and given Laban’s other daughter Leah) Jacob then worked another 7 years as a shepherd for Laban. And listening to Jim Burgen teach through Jesus’ Three Lost Parables (The Parable of the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, and the Lost Son—Luke 15), I could see each and every one of those parables being lived out in this tiny African village.

But the culmination of all this came at the end of our stay in South Sudan. As a symbol of gratitude and generosity, the leaders in Maper gifted our team with a lamb to take home. Needless to say, we couldn’t really take it back to the States, but we did throw it in the back of the van on Saturday and drove it the 2 ½ hours back to Rumbek—where it became Sunday night dinner.

And this was my Holy Moment. I had the privilege of slaughtering the lamb.

Slaughtering the Lamb in Rumbek, South Sudan

I know how weird, creepy and harsh that may sound, but it doesn’t make it any less true. I was asked if I would do the honor of slaughtering the lamb for dinner…and I agreed to do it. And at that moment…that Holy Moment…when I somberly took the knife to do what I’d been asked to do…all of scripture came flooding over me.

The blood sacrifice is such an integral part of the Bible, and the centerpiece of all we believe, culminating in the blood sacrifice of Jesus—the Lamb of God (John1:36). And as I slaughtered this lamb…this gift…this sacrifice…I was overwhelmed by the sacrificial imagery God has given us in the Bible…and I was filled with gratitude for what Jesus has done for us…through His body and His blood. It was a Holy Moment.

Now, I know we can’t all experience what I got to experience in South Sudan, but one thing I do know for sure: All of us, as believers in Jesus, will one day all get together in Heaven to thank Him face-to-face for what He’s done. For His grace… His mercy…and His sacrifice…paid for with His blood.

And I know I will be joined by my friends in Maper...and it will be the greatest of Holy Moments.

—Dan

Small Is Better

Whether we like it or not, small groups really are the best answer to building a strong community here at Flatirons—and making this place seem just a wee bit smaller. I heard someone say years ago that Christianity is an “eyeball to eyeball” religion; meaning that it’s relational…that through Jesus we live in relationship with God, and in relationship with others.

That being said, small groups probably aren’t everyone’s first choice. Am I right? I mean, let’s face it…small groups can be awkward…periodically intrusive…and, yes, maybe even a little threatening. I’m only being honest here. Walking in…sitting down with a group of strangers…and opening up about your life with Jesus can be just a little unsettling.

But that’s exactly what I did last week. I dropped in on one of our (many) men’s small groups we have meeting every week for The Trail. After sitting down, I realized I only knew 2 of the 8 guys who were meeting there, so I felt a bit like an outsider at first. It wasn’t long before the group’s conversation found its way to Jim Burgen’s message from the weekend before (www.flatironschurch.com/messages: Seeing Is Believing. Or Is It? March 2-3, 2013). The guys specifically got to the topic of faith.    

And here’s why I love the small group format: these guys all sat around this conference table that night and shared their struggles, their victories, and their questions of faith. It was real. It was honest. And it was inspiring. C.S. Lewis was fond of saying, “We read to know we’re not alone.” I’d like to amend that for this and say, “We meet in small groups to know we’re not alone.” I know I wasn’t the only one around that table who felt LESS alone because I was spending time and listening to some other guys walking through the same stuff I am. And where, in a place like Flatirons, are you going to have a better chance to connect with some other guys who are walking through the same stuff you are? That’s why we have The Trail small groups…and Flatirons On Tap…and the numerous groups posted up on FlatironsList.

So, if you’re looking to connect and build some relationships around here, I can only say one thing: “Small is better.” And when was the last time you heard that?!

--Dan