My Latest Posts to Katie and Nick

Day 39: Storms

It's snowing right now. 

Seriously. It's May 9th and there's a blizzard going on outside as I type this! I really thought that moving to Colorado would guarantee a white Christmas, but no! A white Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day and possible white Mother's Day? Yes! 

I also read this morning that Tropical Storm Ana is barreling down on the Carolinas and about to pound the east coast. The National Weather Service says she's 3 weeks ahead of the hurricane season, so get ready…the inland aftermath will most likely make things soggy for you two as you hike through Virginia. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I just want you prepared.  

Storms. 

They're going to come, whether we like it or not…whether we're expecting them or not…and whether they ruin our Mother's Days or not. I'll quickly get to the Bible verse of the day. It's about storms--and one that I know you're familiar with. Still, it's good to go over this again…especially for me. I tend to get complacent when there isn't a cloud in the sky and everything seems great. I get to thinking it's always going to be like that, and then…BOOM! I get rattled by the storm because I wasn't ready. Jesus says that's what happens when I hear what He's telling me, but don't put any of it to use. This is how He put it in Matthew 7:24-27:

 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Storms. They're going to come. Jesus makes that clear. It's not a matter of IF…it's a matter of WHEN. The storms WILL come…the rains WILL come down…the streams WILL rise…the winds WILL blow and beat at whatever we hold dear, whatever we cling to for support. The question is: Is it rock or sand? And what exactly is the rock? To find out, all we have to do is back up 2 chapters in Matthew and read through Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. He's VERY clear about what the "rock" is. There's all kinds of stuff in the Sermon on the Mount to build our foundations on: Not worrying…loving people like we want to be loved…how we should approach God and so on. And right after Jesus talks about not worrying about what we're going to eat or wear or live, He says this (Bonus Bible verse!):

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  (Matthew 6:33)

I can't think of a stronger, more reliable rock to build on. You both know how that rock has held us up under some pretty nasty storms. Stuff like destructive relationships and financial disaster. Matthew 6:33 is a great promise…from the mouth of God! Seek HIs kingdom…seek after His desires...and His desire for you. Do THAT first and you can't go wrong. Build on THAT rock and you can stand up under any storm; physical, emotional, relational or spiritual. It's a rock to stand on…to build upon…and to live.     

Get ready. A storm is coming.

Love,

Dad

Day 40: Tears

We missed you two tonight. As usual, the families rounded up at the Burgens for Mother's Day. Jim's mom is in town and we all invaded Jim and Robin's around 4PM today. It was chaotic and noisy and wonderful! The only thing missing was you two.

Katie, I kept thinking of you tonight because of Emery. She was having some real struggles tonight because she fell down on the way back from the park. The men all agreed to give the moms a break and take the kids down the street to the park. Emery tripped and fell as we crossed the street heading home--and hurt herself. It was SO cold…and Emery's hands were like icicles…and when she went down, I think she scraped her hands. She cried and cried to the point where she couldn't (or wouldn't) be consoled. Nothing stopped the tears. She was inconsolable…and she reminded of the way you would get when you couldn't (or wouldn't) be consoled, Katie. I'm such a bad Grampa. I'll give her anything…I really will…to make her happy. When Emery cries…something inside me aches like I've never ached before. 

I have to admit, I've always had a hard time when ladies or girls cry…especially those I love the most. My Achilles Heel has always been a crying female. My earliest memory of this was in 1st grade. On the first day of school at Madison Elementary School…on the way to lunch. I saw the minister's daughter (whom I had my first crush on) crying…and it broke me. 1st grade! And I can see it like it happened yesterday. We were walking down the hallway in single file on the way to lunch. I was SO excited! I felt SO grown up! I was clutching my hand-me-down space age lunch box (I've attached the picture below) and I was marching with the rest of Mrs. Hyslop's first grade class.    

     

As my class slowed down to step up the 3 or 4 steps into the gymnasium/lunch room…the principal, Mr. Brenkus (I can't believe I remember these names!) was walking our minister's daughter, Sherry Hanze, down the stairs and she was crying…sobbing inconsolably. My heart broke. I can't explain it, but something scarred me that day and whenever I see a pitiful, helpless girl or woman crying…my heart breaks…like it does today, whenever Em cries. I will do almost anything to make that stop! 

But Katie, as you well know, I didn't have any problems whatsoever with your tears growing up. I don't know…I guess it was the reality of parenting or the sense of responsibility that comes with raising your own kids. For some reason I was able to set aside those feelings I normally had and I could deal rationally with your tears when you were little. That's not true today. I probably shouldn't say this, and show all my cards, but now that you're a full-grown woman…I have the same problem. When you cry…I will move heaven and earth to fix whatever is the issue. I know…where was that when you were growing up? I guess now that you have Nick to love and protect you…I can revert back to my "soft underbelly". 

I can't tell you how hard it was to drop you both at the airport when you flew to Georgia to begin this big adventure. Katie, you were a bucket of tears and I had the hardest time seeing you two off. Everything in me was saying, "Do something to help her, dummy!" But I also knew you would be okay…that the best thing for you to do was get on that plane…fly to Georgia…and spend the Spring and Summer hiking to Maine with Nick. As much as my heart wanted to do anything to stop your tears…my brain knew what the right thing was…stepping aside and letting your husband lead. The worst thing I can do…as your dad…is get in the way of Nick. Proverbs 12:4 reads:

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

Katie, you have SUCH great character…and you are the joy of Nick's life…his "crown". You are Nick's greatest encourager and support, but all of that would end by becoming "disgraceful"…by allowing anything to get in the way of you two being "one"…whatever it is. Including a father who…maybe even out of love…gets in the way of your oneness. I've seen it happen too many times; dads who don't know when to step aside and let their son-in-laws be the leaders God wants them to be. I never want to do that…I really don't. So no matter how many tears fall…I want to do what's right…what's best for you. Katie, you have yet to call home in tears…and Lord willing…that won't happen, but if it does…I pray that I'll have the strength and wisdom to do what's right and best for you.

Now…if I can only do the same with Emery...

Love,

Dad

Day 41: Afire 

I came across this quote--a piece from a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning--and I immediately thought of you two:

Earth's crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God;

But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,

The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,

And daub their natural faces unaware.

Earth is crammed with heaven.

I'm guessing that you guys are feeling the same way, right? In all that you're seeing and experiencing out there on the trail, I can't help but think every tree and bush and bald is afire. At least that's what I'm hoping for you. I felt that way yesterday when Jim and I hiked his property. As we worked our way up to the waterfall, you could hear it way before we saw it. The water looked like it was bursting out of the rocks, cascading down into the rushing stream. It was afire. We traipsed silently through the woods looking for antler sheds (antlers that have dropped over the winter) and you could sense something. It was afire. As we walked down that county road in search of a phone and passed the 2 elk bucks grazing…afire. Afire with fingerprints.     

And that's what I wanted to write you today: the fingerprints. King David writes in Psalm 102:25:  

"In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands."

Earth IS crammed with heaven…everything in nature IS afire with God…but here's the thing: nature is NOT God. It's beautiful and awe inspiring and…the work of His hands. The mountains, the trees, the sunrises and sunsets are His fingerprints…and they are everywhere…afire with evidence of Him. Showing us that He was…and is still…here. So wherever you two are right now (and I hope you're able to call soon to let us know where you're at) I hope and pray you aren't sitting around plucking blackberries unaware, but taking off your shoes…enjoying the evidence of God's goodness, love and creativity….and your hearts are afire. 

Love,

Dad

Day 42: Guilt 

I will state this right up front: I'm missing you. I was telling Mom tonight that I think of you both all the time throughout the day…honestly, more than I do when you're here in Colorado…and just a 20-25 minute drive away. But as you know, when you're gone…and you're more like 20-25 hours away…I think about you more…and miss you more. As I've said (and written) multiple times, technology has helped greatly. We're able to talk more (and via FaceTime) and see each other more than any of us expected. Still. I miss seeing you both face-to-face and having real, tangible contact. And I know! There are people and families dealing with some serious, serious separation. Folks with kids living overseas…missionaries out in the bush, completely out of contact. I know! I get that! But knowing that doesn't make me miss you less…and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. 

I've lived with enough guilt. I'm done.

I am so grateful for what I always call my "faith heritage". I am thankful and grateful for the way Nana and Papa raised me and for the heritage of faith they passed along. I am grateful for the friends that God has placed on my path along the way…guiding me to a closer walk with Jesus. I can stand and look back over my life and see where God has directed where I was…and where I am now…and where I need to be. Part of looking back is seeing the reality of my journey--the good and the bad--and guilt is something hard to overlook. 

Growing up in the Church of Christ/Restoration Church movement had some great parts to it: a close-knit group of believing friends and family, deep respect and emphasis on the Bible…and the pursuit of Bible knowledge, and a strong call to rid followers of man-made rules, credos and ritual. But buried in there too was an unspoken works-based philosophy where sin and salvation see-sawed back-and-forth, battling for your soul and…depending on the day…eternity (and God's love) hung in the balance…where I was always unsure when my "sin limit" would top off…and Jesus' grace and forgiveness had been depleted. It's a crazy place to live…filled with guilt and fear. But John writes in 1 John 4:18:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

It was a long, hard road away from guilt and fear…and even though I know I'm still on it…I'm in a much better place than before. My guilt and fear no longer drive me. They still raise their ugly, little heads every now-and-then, but I've been given some really good tools to deal with them. I've been given a deeper understanding of how my guilt and shame have driven me to turn my life completely over to Jesus…and I've given Him ALL of my sin…my past, my present…and ALL of my future sin. I understand that Jesus is never surprised when I trip and fall and screw up again…and that "by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy" (Hebrews 10:14 Bonus Verse!). And even though all my sin is erased, I know that I'm called to do better each day…and to serve Him better each day, but out of love for Him, not guilt.     

So I'm done with guilt. I know that my life is great and that there are so many more people around the world in much, much worse situations…with serious, serious struggles and heartache. But I still miss you…and I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

That being said, please call. Mom talked with Katie the other night, but I haven't heard from you in over a week.

Hmmm. Feeling guilty yet? 

Love,

Dad

Day 43: No Email to Katie and Nick 

Day 44: Checking In

I'm checking in...and I'm checking in sad, happy, excited and tender. 

Katie, this is something we picked up from the Crucible. You can ask Nick. He knows what I'm talking about. 

I'm up in the mountains again for another weekend retreat. This time it's for The Crucible. Three out of the four weekends this past month, I've been away from home. I'm in Como, CO this weekend at a little Christian camp hidden on a mountainside near the Kenosha Pass. We're getting ready to lead about 33 men through The Crucible--this intense men's retreat a bunch of us have done (including Nick). I hesitate calling it a retreat because there's nothing calm and restive about it at all!

So, I'm checking in: Sad. 

I'm sad because I'm away from Mom again for another weekend. 

I'm sad because I feel like I let you down. Yesterday was the first time I missed emailing you a note since you started your AT hike. I know I wrote to you earlier that I wasn't going to be legalistic about it or beat myself up about missing a day or two, but I still feel like I let you down.

I'm also sad because it was your birthday yesterday and...for your first birthday in 25 years...we didn't get to celebrate it together...in person.

Those are the reasons I'm checking in sad.

I'm also checking in: happy. 

I'm happy because I know you two are happy. You're living out one your dreams--and loving every minute of it. 

I'm happy because...even though I'm away from Mom...I know I'm doing what God has called me to do...and Mom is in complete support of it. 

I'm happy because we got to talk on the phone yesterday. I loved hearing your voice, Katie, and even though we weren't together in person for your 25th birthday...we got to celebrate via cell phone anyway.

And I'm checking in: excited. 

I'm excited about you two. I'm excited because you're about to exit Tennessee and head into Virginia on your trek north to Maine.

I'm excited because you're both doing so well on this journey--strong, encouraged and upbeat. 

I'm also excited about this weekend here in Como. I'm excited for the 31-33 men who are about to land here in a few hours...for the junk they'll be bringing...for the hard work they're going to do...and for the change God is going to do by the time they leave on Sunday afternoon. 

That's why I'm checking in excited.

In the book of James, I think I can see part of what makes me excited about you two...and the men coming for The Crucible this weekend:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

I know that a lot of what you're going through...and what these men will go through this weekend...will test you in many different ways. But in the end...it will produce perseverance. So that makes me excited for you all.

And that's how I'm checking in today.

No...I didn't forget. I'm also checking in tender. I'm checking in tender because you checked in with us and called before I left home for Como...

...and that makes me tender.

Love,

Dad

Day 45: Handiwork

This is going to be a short one. It's early Saturday morning and I've got to get ready for today. It's a real intense one…a full day at The Crucible.

Here's one thing I know: There's going to be a lot and pain…and anger…and hurt shared today this morning and afternoon. A lot of men with damaged pasts are going to have a chance to share their hurts, struggles and pain…and hopefully…by Sunday afternoon…will leave with some relief and some great tools to move forward in a healthy way.

As I get ready for the stories I'm about to hear throughout the day, I wanted to share this verse with you:

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)

We all need to hear and try to understand this truth: We are God's creation--His handiwork...beautifully created and crafted by Him. We are all created to do good works...to reflect God's goodness...something He's set in place from the beginning of time for us to do. I need to be reminded of this...and the men up here at The Crucible need to be reminded of this too…our pain and struggles can be redeemed (Romans 8:28). 

God has created us to do good...to even take the ugly, destructive parts of our lives and use them…to redeem them...for His good.

So whatever you walk through on this trip…all the good days and the bad days…the "zero days" and the 20+ days, let God use them. Let Him redeem them if they're too hard to bear…and let God show you His will on the days when it seems like He's not there. 

This weekend is supposed to be a "zero day" for you. You're supposed to stop and enjoy Trail Days in Damascus, VA, so have fun...but not too much fun.  :)

Love, 

Dad

Day 46: Scars

I have another short one for you two today. It's been a very long weekend. I just got home from The Crucible and I'm dog-tired. After this weekend, and the stories I've heard, I keep thinking about this:

Issues with Dad.

So many of the problems men (and women) are working through today lead back to one relationship: their father. 

This weekend, no matter what struggle or addiction or emotional impasse I heard about pointed back to a relationship with dad: a missing dad…an abusive dad…an absentee dad and so on. It was humbling and convicting to hear…over and over again…the impact a father can have on his children. I heard men from every age range…from mid-20s to late 60s share the same common thread: their dad messed them up, one way or the other. It was heartbreaking to experience. Men, 30+ years out of the home…still yearning for the love, acceptance and approval from a dad who either wouldn't or couldn't give it…or didn't want to. It makes me think of what the Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:4:

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

There are all sorts of ways we fathers can exasperate our kids…and I know I've exasperated mine. The thing is, one of the common ways I've heard this weekend of how dads have exasperated their sons is…complete absence. I heard stories about dads who checked out…or left home…or abused their kids…and the damage done. I have learned this lesson over the last several years, "No one leaves the home unscarred. We all leave homes with wounds." With God's help, the damage done will never outweigh the time, effort and love we (Dads) put in. 

Which is why I will continue to hound you…in writing or on the phone…until you are both back in Colorado. 

Love, 

Dad

This Week's Posts to Nick and Katie

Day 34: God's Pleasure 

So now that I think my hernia surgery has healed completely, I started back up in the gym this morning. Ugh! It sucked! I did 45 minutes of cardio between the elliptical machine and the stationary bike. I've got a bunch of books I need to get through, so I plan to read through my ever-growing pile (and hopefully take my mind off of my exercise) by reading while I workout. Anyway, I was reading a book titled "Hearing God" by Dallas Willard. He referenced the Westminster Shorter Catechism--which is this old Christian document that set out to define all the Christian beliefs. It's got 107 questions concerning faith in Jesus…and 107 answers (with Bible references). As I was reading (and sweating) this morning I came across this quote in Hearing God: "Man's chief end is to glorify God." It's in reference to the first question in the Westminster Catechism:

Q. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God (Psalm 86), and to enjoy Him forever (Psalm16:5-11). 

I love that! I remember coming across the Westminster Catechism years ago and how that first question, and answer, sum everything up. What's the most important thing in life? To glorify God…and ENJOY Him forever. The thing that struck me when I first read through the Westminster Catechism years ago was that line "enjoy him forever." I mean, the group that put this together did it back in the 1640s when (at least in my head) followers of Jesus were a bunch of fuddy-duddy sticks in the mud--who saw God as a cosmic killjoy. So to read that we are to enjoy God forever was exciting…and life-giving to me! When I read those words this morning, I got excited all over again--and excited for you two. Within Psalm 86 (which the Westminster Catechism uses as a biblical reference to our belief) is Psalm 86:12:

"I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever."

This morning I also thought about my favorite line from a great, old movie called Chariots of Fire. When I think about you two hiking your way through all 2.168.1 miles of the Appalachian Trail, I think about how you are pleasing and/or glorifying God. Here's what I mean: The movie Chariots of Fire is based on the true story about two English Olympic runners from the 1920s--one a Christian (Eric Liddell), the other a Jew (Harold Abrahams). Liddell was raised by missionary parents, raised to be a missionary himself. In the movie, when Liddell's sister confronts him about the uselessness of his running he tells her, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." 

I Feel His Pleasure      

Isn't that great? Isn't that what you're experiencing right now? At least that's what I hope you're experiencing throughout your hike. I hope and pray that you are drenched in the reality that God has made to both for a purpose, but He also gave this desire to hike…and when you hike…you feel His pleasure. What greater way can there be to glorify God than to do…and to live out…what He's created us to do. God's purpose for Liddell was to be a missionary--and he died in the mission field in China. I know you two are still trying to figure out what God's purpose is for you…but until He makes that clear…hike.

Hike and feel His pleasure. 

Love,

Dad

Day 35: Fill in the Blank

Well, yesterday Mom mailed out your next supply box. I think we got everything in there you requested. Sorry, but the iPod didn't make it on this run. I didn't get it to Ben in time. So he didn't have time to put music on it for you. I'm still a little hurt that you didn't ask me to do that. Don't you want any of my music? I told Ben that and he said, "Yeah. 'Celtic Christmas VII'…". I punched him. Let us know when you get it when you get to Erwin, Tennessee.

Erwin, Tennessee…10-12 miles from Milligan College! 

Erwin, Tennessee…right on the Nolichucky River! 

Erwin, Tennessee…landmark to the Execution of Murderous Mary the Elephant! 

How would you like it if your town's biggest historical contribution is its notoriety for hanging a circus elephant?

"Erwin earned some notoriety in 1916 when the only known public execution of an elephant in Tennessee occurred in the community. Mary, the elephant, had killed her handler, Walter Eldridge, in nearby Kingsport. As home to the region's largest railway yard, Erwin was the only community with the means to carry out the death sentence. An estimated 2,500 people turned out at the local railway yard to see Mary hoisted by a crane and hanged by a chain around her neck. The first chain snapped, but a larger one was found and the peculiar task completed - she was hanged for half an hour before being declared dead." (Wikipedia)    

Doesn't exactly help the stereotype of small southern towns, does it? Katie, as a collector of elephant knick-knacks and memorabilia, you need to get something when you stop in Erwin. A t-shirt or a souvenir glass or something! That's too good to pass up! You need something from Erwin in your collection. If you pick something up, and you're afraid to hike with it the rest of the way, mail it back here to us. We'll pack it up and put it with the rest of your stuff in the crawlspace.  

Poor Erwin, Tennessee. I feel sorry for that little town…sort of. If you do a Google search on Erwin the primary thing you find about it is Mary the Elephant. That's their notoriety, and their reputation, it seems. When Mom and I were in school at Milligan, that's all I knew about that town. That's been their reputation, I guess, since 1916. I think it's a sobering reminder of how much WHAT we do influences how people remember us. That makes me think of the Old Testament book of Proverbs. Proverbs is this great collection of practical wisdom--the bulk of it written by King Solomon to his sons. Too bad he didn't listen to a lot of his own advice. He's someone that started out great, then the wheels came off (You can read all about his messy life in 2 Samuel & 1 Kings). All that aside, in Proverbs 22:1, Solomon writes:

"A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."  

When I think about all the people you're meeting on your hike I know one thing: they WILL remember you. I'm sure they'll remember, "Katie and Nick…Summer and Breeze…the young married couple from Colorado…" The rest of that sentence is fill-in-the-blank, isn't it? The thing is though…we don't get to fill in our own blank. We don't get to pick how people remember us or choose what kind of reputation we have. All we can do is influence it--by our actions and how we treat others. I know most of your encounters on this hike will be fleeting, but you'll also make some connections that will last your lifetimes. 

Help them all fill in that blank well.   

Love,

Dad

Day 36: Covered Over 

Scott Nickell came into my office this afternoon to chat. It was our monthly check-in to see how things are going in the Community Ministry. I love talking with Scott. We eventually get around to talking work stuff, but the majority of our discussions usually end up being about the more important things in life: kids, sports, food, movies, etc. Scott asked me how my family was doing and immediately asked about you two…where you were…how you were weathering the trip…and so on. I told him your latest and then told him what I tell everyone, "I can't believe how much we've been able to stay in contact!" I shared with him how Katie texted Mom on Sunday…but how we were able to FaceTime on Thursday. Then it hit me…that was almost a week ago now! Mom got a text. I didn't. It'll be a week tomorrow since I've heard anything from you. Did you get that? Have I dropped enough hints yet? :)

While Scott and I were meeting today I told him about my struggle with sleep lately. I wanted to say, "I don't know why I can't sleep…", but that would be a lie. I know why. I do all the things you're not supposed to do when you get into bed. I read…I check my email and calendar for the next day…I do a crossword puzzle... and I watch Netflix on my iPad. All the things that will ramp up your brain when you're supposed to be getting it to wind down. Scott said that reading helps him fall asleep, but he'll only read "fluff"--books about sports figures and sports history. Nothing deep to spin his brain into gear. 

Then, we got to talking about books and how (when it comes to faith-related books) you can read stuff, but you don't have to agree with everything in it. Scott said he got an email from someone who took offense with him for quoting a Christian author they didn't agree with. Scott said, "I quote all kinds of people that I may not agree with on everything! Like C.S. Lewis. I quote him all the time, but I don't agree at all with his views on heaven and hell!" As we talked more I got to thinking of authors I like, but don't agree with everything they believe. It got me thinking about one of my favorite poems from poet Khalil Gibran. Nick quoted him in his "30 Things…" blog the other day. Gibran's religious views are SO far off from mine. His were sort of a Molotov cocktail of Christianity, Islam, Bahai Faith and a little bit of mysticism thrown in for good measure. But that didn't mean he couldn't speak some truth too--especially in his poem titled "On Children":

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.          

Isn't that poem filled with a lot of truth? Whenever I read it, I usually have to re-read it, then something catches me in the throat. I mean, I came across that poem before you were both born…and now…with that part of our life over…and our house empty…it rests in a different place than it did when Ben and Katie were still at home. Mom and I are on the other side of the truth found in those words. And the mistakes we made (i.e., trying to make you more like us, striving to make our thoughts your thoughts, etc.) haunt me in hindsight now…instead of the in the present. When I think of the damage I've done and the scars I've made…I pray that what Peter writes in 1 Peter 4:8 is truer than anything I could ever hope:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

You know I love you both deeply. I pray it's enough to cover over the multitude of my sins and mistakes…and that you both will continue to go swift and far. 

Like, 2,168.1 miles by mid-August. 

Love,

Dad

Day 37: Miracle

"I believe in miracle, but not too much miracle, for too much miracle would weaken us, make us dependent on miracle instead of our obedience to natural law. Just enough miracle to let us know He (God) is there, but not too much, lest we depend on it when we should depend on our own initiative and on His orderly processes for our development." E. Stanley Jones 

  

I read this quote the other day reading that Dallas Willard book "Hearing God" I wrote you about. I highlighted the quote on my iPad (Which I didn't know you could do!). Then, talking with you tonight, Katie, I thought of it again while we were talking about the bears. Mom is SO happy that you haven't come across any bears, but I'm excited for your first sighting! When Ben and I came across that black bear when we hiked the AT in Georgia back in 2006…I thought it was a miracle. I'm even more convinced it was a miracle after what you shared tonight on the phone; the fact that there was only ONE black bear rambling around Georgia back in 2006! It was neat to learn that Old Drum thru-hiked the AT back in 2006…and that we may have seen the same bear that year…and knowing that the ATC claims there was only one bear that summer almost guarantees that fact. Still, Mom hopes you don't come across any bears on your hike. Me…I'll pray for a miracle.

I highlighted that E. Stanley Jones quote…and want to try and remember it…because I need to be reminded of its truth. I need to remind myself that I lean too much, and desire too strongly, the miraculous. I think that if I consistently experience the miraculous side of life…I'll feel closer to God. Mr. Jones, there, cautions me not to seek that…but to seek God first. And that leads me to today's Bible verse:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."(Matthew 6:33)  

I need to seek God first…not HIs miraculous hand. I need to seek Him in the commonplace…in the drudgery of everyday life and not in miracles. The truth is, when I focus on what Jones calls "His orderly processes for our development" I see the miraculous in the mundane. I see God in the plain, everyday ordinary things in life. If all I'm looking for is amazing, awe-inspiring events in life…I will miss God in the finer details. 

Honestly, when Ben and I had that bear walk into our camp 6 days into our hike…I thought it was a miracle! Up to that point, all we had seen was a few squirrels, a chipmunk or two, and a box turtle. Then, the bear. And I will tell you now, from the bottom of my heart, I believe God gifted us with that bear. Ben and I were only going to be hiking for two weeks, then he was heading off to school. We were hoping to see all kinds of wildlife, and just when it felt like we weren't going to see a thing…the ONLY bear in Georgia waltzed into our camp! Ben and I both agreed that we could've gone home that day…completely satisfied…because of Han Solo Bear. A miracle.

So whatever God places in your path each day, please try to look for Him in the ordinary, everyday parts of your hike…in the rhythmic crunch of your footsteps…in the intricacy of His creation…in the music you listen to…and in the silence of the night. I think you'll find your dependence on this kind of miracle will far exceed anything else once this grand adventure is over. I think you'll find that, just as your muscles have strengthened over the last 37 days…your muscles for seeing the miraculous in mundane will have strengthened too. 

Let me hope and pray for your bear.

Love,

Dad

Day 38: East Tennessee

Don't make fun. I was in a mood for Dan Fogelberg tonight. Knowing that you guys are hiking through East Tennessee and all around Milligan College got me all nostalgic. 

For Mom and me--Milligan and Dan Fogelberg go hand-in-hand. We fell in love at that college and to his music. The albums Phoenix, Souvenirs, Netherlands, Twin Sons of Different Mothers and Home Free all send me back to our days at Milligan. Dan Fogelberg was the soundtrack to our early years: Meeting each other at Milligan…falling in love…getting married…and our first few years as newlyweds. And if Dan Fogelberg was the soundtrack to our early days, then those mountains you're hiking in-and-around (Buffalo and Roan Mountains) were the backdrop. There are several songs that, when I hear them, take me right back to those days. It's 1979 all over again. I'm on my own for the first time…in a strange, new place called Tennessee…hemmed in by those mountains and trying to figure out who I was. As Mom and I listened to the album Twin Sons of Different Mothers tonight the song Hurtwood Alley started to play. I told Mom, "It seriously feels like yesterday I first heard this!" I closed my eyes and I was immediately a freshman in Derthick Hall again. I could almost smell the mustiness of that old building…with Buffalo Mountain looming in the distance. 

I love East Tennessee for all sorts of reasons--not just because it's where Mom and I met. It's where I met some friends for life. It's where I first really hiked and camped in the wild. But most of all, East Tennessee is where I truly set off on my own, away from family…where I questioned everything from my upbringing…and started finding answers. It was brief…only 2 years…but they are 2 years that were more intense, and more shaping, than probably any of the other 53 years of my life. I know this is sappy, but that doesn't mean it isn't true: I found a major piece to who I am in those mountains and at Milligan College…and I left a part of me there too. There's a part of me that will always stay in East Tennessee. 

So it makes me happy knowing that you are both seeing the same mountains…hiking through the same trees…past the same streams…and smelling the same rhododendrons we did over 30 years ago. And even though you're just passing through on your way north for Virginia, I hope there's something about that section of East Tennessee that calls out after you too. It was in that area that I began to try and figure out who God was (and is). It's where--even though I didn't recognize it at the time--I began to hear God. You know what I mean when I say that. Maybe it will happen one day, but up until now, I have never heard the audible voice of God (I think I might poop my pants if I did anyway). I have, however, experienced the gentle nudge or tug on my heart that I have come to know as God's way of speaking to me. It almost always happen reading the Bible…when I read something I've read maybe hundreds of times before…and I see it differently or more profoundly than ever. That's how I hear Him…that's how I recognize His voice…and it first started all those years ago in East Tennessee. 

And listening is one thing. The hard part is obeying. Jesus said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”  (Luke 11:28)

I hear all sorts of noise. I also hear the word of God, but do I obey? I have my good days and bad. I pray, that as you two tread that familiar ground, your ears are tuned into what God is saying and that you hear His word…and that not only will you listen…you will obey. It's in our obedience that God does some of His greatest work and forges the greatest change, but it's a journey.

Joy at the start, fear in the journey

Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road

                         Along the Road by Dan Fogelberg

Love,

Dad

My Latest Appalachian Trail Posts

Day 31: Good News  

This will be very brief because I'm back up at Crooked Creek to help with women's retreat and I'm scrambling to fit everything in.

I wanted to tell you both how much I loved the video you posted of the first 2 weeks of your hike! (See: www.trudgecompany.com) It was great to see you out there on the trail...and a sober reminder of the weather you two have had to deal with on this trip: rain...rain...and more rain. I was also struck by the lack of foliage and greenery. In my head, whenever I envisioned you hiking, it was all green and lush (like Ben and I experienced when we hiked the Georgia portion). But I just wasn't thinking about how early in the year it is...and how you're hiking BEFORE the peak of Spring. Still, you both seem SO happy on your video…in your text messages…on the phone…and whenever we get to FaceTime you. You're both in such great spirits! It always lifts mine. Which brings me to today's Bible verse from Proverbs 15:30:

"The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones."

That is how Mom and I feel when we see you two...so happy and filled with life...as you continue on your journey. The "light of your eyes" makes us rejoice...and the good news you're giving us (in all the stories you share) warms us to the core ("refreshes the bones") to know you're both so happy.

Every parent wants their kids to be happy...and while you two were already happy...there's a joy in you now that is evident in everything we see and hear. That's good news that refreshes our bones.

Love,

Dad

Day 32: Trail Family  

After FaceTiming you the other night, and hearing some of the stories you both shared, I've been thinking a lot about your friends Old Drum and Yvonne Sherpa (I'd love to know the story behind those trail names). It's always fun to hear about all the interesting people you're meeting…and all the "trail magic" you're experiencing. I know that this is a major part of what this hike to Maine is all about, but I have to tell you, hearing about Old Drum and Yvonne Sherpa helps settle some of my unrest.

I knew from the beginning that you'd be out there on your own with no real family support...other than us writing you or talking on the phone or texting or the occasional supply box mailing. It's nice to know that God has placed people like Old Drum and Yvonne Sherpa along your path. I know that when you first met them, early on in your hike, they were intriguing--having thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail together at age 60...and the fact that they took such an interest in both of you was great. It sounds like they are like a lot of other couples who (after years of marriage) settle into that lovable teasing and bickering stage of their relationship...where their love for each other is usually shown through well-worn jabs and playful gigging. Hearing that Yvonne Sherpa constantly chastises Old Drum when he launches into another story by saying, "Here we go down memory lane!" makes me laugh...and think about my own grandparents and what their relationship used to be like. But when you told us how--after losing track of Old Drum and Yvonne Sherpa on the hike for a couple of weeks--you walked into that Hot Springs, NC diner and there they were…waiting for you! It made me so grateful. 

I mean, here is this couple...who you've only met a couple of times on the trail...holding a spot for you at that breakfast diner because...as Yvonne said, "We knew this is where you'd show up" is amazing and wonderful. Amazing to me, but I guess not that big of a surprise to you. You two have stepped into another world where strangers treat each other as family and where simple acts of kindness seem to be the norm. Jesus put it this way:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." 

Knowing that you have people like Old Drum and Yvonne Sherpa out there...loving and caring for you two as if you were their own...is a great comfort. They call you part of their "trail family" and I know it has already had a profound effect on you...and makes me wonder what kind of effect it will have on you in the future.

I wonder...years from now...will there be another young couple, thru-hiking the AT...who will be telling the story of Sunshine and Breeze...and the trail magic they received from them? 

It's good to know you've got family out there with you.

Love,

Dad

Day 33: The Space Between 

I just read Nick's first blog entry on www.trudgecompany.com. 

I smiled a lot reading the "30 Things We've Learned in our First 30 Days on the Appalachian Trail", but I couldn't get # 1 out of my mind….and I probably won't for a while. Nick, you wrote:

"There is always a gap between Sunshine (Katie) and I. 

Sometimes it is very short as I’m kicking her heels or bumping into her pack when she comes to a stop. Sometimes we hike 100 yards apart. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we listen to music and sometimes we go in silence. Sometimes we get along, sometimes we argue. Sometimes we’re happy and energetic and other times we’re cranky and hungry or need to poop. 

There is always a gap between us. I am always aware of this gap. I always know where she is. No one gets between us. We always hike together and stop together. It’s an interesting thing to ponder on, the space between us."

The Space Between Us 

Nick, I can't express enough how grateful I am that you are Katie's husband…that you care for her the way you do…and that you two are out there in the woods of North Carolina right now fulfilling this dream. I love your words about "the space between us." Again, I go back to the way God made us for relationship…to seek out another…and how "the two will become one" (Mark 10:8). But even in our oneness…there is a space between. The truth is, there's always going to be space between a couple…and that space will be whatever we make of it, right? It can be the common distance that unifies us and keeps us safe and makes us feel loved…or it can become a gaping chasm that leads to destruction. The choice is always ours, isn't it? 1 Peter 4:8 reads:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."    

I have no doubts whatsoever that you love each other deeply. And I know that as you continue on this journey north you will keep that space between each other safe and protected. It is a space that will expand and contract, literally and figuratively, throughout this hike…and throughout your marriage. I only ask that you continue to invite Jesus into that space each day--the only bridge for any break…any gap…or any division. 

Oh, and stay away from the moonshine!  

Love,

Dad